Selfcaretaker.com – It’s Time To Become Better Caretakers of Ourselves

A Self Care Portal & Health, Beauty, Fashion, etc. Online Mall

Sometimes we just need to be shown the way 🙂

*This web page is best viewed on a lap or desk top computer.

If you view this web page via your phone or hand held device, please allow a couple of minutes for everything to download 🙂

“It’s time we become better caretakers of ourselves.” ~ Pam Jones, Innovator, Creator & CEO of Selfcaretaker.com

Caretaker: one that gives physical or emotional care and support. ~ Merriam Webster Dictionary

Selfcaretaker: a person who routinely gives physical, mental, and emotional care, upliftment, and support to themselves on an inner and outer level. ~ Pam Jones

That in a nutshell is what Selfcaretaker.com is all about.

Showing you the best and most effective ways to take care of and support YOU on a physical, mental, and emotional level aka both inside and outside 🙂

“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?” ~ Maya Angelou

We are living at a time when it is more important than ever before to care for ourselves on every level.

“There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by myself.” ~ Brian Andreas

Being a Selfcaretaker means that you make Self Care in addition to Self Healing important priorities in your daily life.

“Every one of us needs to show how much we care for each other and, in the process, care for ourselves.” ~ Diana, Princess of Wales

It means that you make a conscious effort to empower yourself daily by fueling your inner self with routine practices which improve your physical, mental and emotional health and well-being…

…and to also be attentive to your outer self and image and how you show up in the world which can improve your feelings of self esteem, self worth, and self love.

Notice the focus on “self.”

That means it’s all about caring for YOU….

…the WHOLE you.

“Self-care is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.” ~ Audre Lorde

Interestingly the World Health Organization (W.H.O.) defines Self Care as:

“the ability of individuals, families, and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider.” ~ W.H.O.

It’s imperative to know that “health” encompasses our physical, mental and emotional health and well-being.

All three are equal and extremely important for the overall health of our bodies.

I compare it to a 3 legged stool.

If one of the 3 legs on the stool is weak or missing, no matter how sturdy the other two legs are, the entire stool will eventually come crashing down once any pressure is put on it.

Such is also the case with the human body.

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” ~ Jim Rohn

There is an age old saying: “As above, so below.”

“As above, so below; as below, so above.” ~ The Kybalion

“The verse, ‘As Above, So Below’ (also known as the Principle of Correspondence) , is one of the 7 Hermetic principles as described in the book – The Kybalion. ~ Excerpt from Out of Stress website

What this hermetic principle means in the most basic of terms is who you are on the outside reflects or corresponds with who you are on the inside and vice versa.

Note: The vice versa is equally important.

Vice Versa: used to say that what you have just said is also true in the opposite order ~ Cambridge Dictionary

Example of vice versa:

“As above, so below; as below, so above.” ~ The Kybalion

*I make this distinction because the equally important vice versa part of this hermetic principle is sometimes forgotten.

“Every change you have ever desired in your life has its inception from within. As within; so without. Beautify your inner universe and see the reflection of this abundance in your life experiences.” ~ Sanchita Pandey, Lessons from My Garden

To take that wonderful Sanchita Pandey quote a step further by adding the vice versa…

…beautify your outer universe and your outer self and see this same beauty reflected in your inner life.

I emphasize this point because being a Selfcaretaker of your whole self means that the inner self is as equally important as the outer self and vice versa….

…so an authentic Selfcaretaker takes care of both the outer self as well as the inner self.

“Don’t underestimate the power of clothing. It’s so much more than just one of our basic human needs along with food and shelter. It can impact how we feel about ourselves, and in turn how we perform.” ~ DeJuan McGuire from GentlemanWithin.com

Many people very falsely believe the focus on the outer self to be unimportant or superficial…

…yet how we choose to groom and present ourselves to the outer world on a daily basis plays a very big part in how we inevitably feel about ourselves, which means it also impacts our inner world.

It means you take your personal grooming, your own unique personal style, and how you show up in the world seriously.

There is a phenomenon scientists have dubbed “Enclothed Cognition.”

This is the scientific term for the idea that clothing impacts how we think, behave, and feel, in addition to how others perceive us.

“It has long been known that clothing affects how other people perceive us, as well as how we think about ourselves.” ~ Adam Galinsky, one of the foremost researchers on Enclothed Cognition

Of course, it’s not just clothing but also about the TOTAL outer image we project to the world via everything from skincare to makeup to hair to shoes to jewelry and other accessories which we may choose to complete our outfit to support our overall image.

“What you wear doesn’t define your value as a human being. But there is an important psychology of clothing that we need to be aware of. When you decide not just how clothes look but how they make you feel, it can positively impact your life.” ~ From Craving Current article titled “Look Good, Feel Great: The Psychology of Clothing”

Think about it:

How do you feel when you step out into the world after making an effort in your grooming and appearance?

How do you feel when you step out in that stylish new outfit you just bought?

How do you feel when you first step outside after leaving the hair salon or the barber shop?

How do you feel when you dress up for a date night with your partner?

How do you feel when you wear that pretty nightie or that stylish PJ set when you go to bed at night?

How do you feel when you wear that gorgeous new lipstick color, eye shadow or bronzer?

How do you feel when you step out of the house with gorgeous and glowing skin?

How do you feel when you step outside of the house smelling really good because you’re wearing a great smelling perfume or after shave/cologne?

How do you feel when you step out wearing that stylish coat or jacket, those cool shades, that funky hat, those killer shoes, those smoking boots, or that eye-catching hoodie?

I could go on and on.

“Our feelings guide us, like the rudder of a ship.” ~ Rollo May

Now do you see how your outer self and outer persona can positively impact your inner self aka your feelings of self worth, self confidence, and self esteem?

“The way I dress depends on how I feel. I never have to psych myself up. Usually it just feels like it works.” ~ Rihanna

“The way I dress depends on how I feel.”

On a subconscious level, this is true for almost everyone.

How we dress when stepping into the outside world literally broadcasts how we are feeling at that moment of the day or it broadcasts how we are striving to feel that day because sometimes the antidote to feeling low is dressing UP. 

“Everybody likes a compliment.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

I can’t count the number of times how a seemingly small compliment about something I was wearing or how I styled and groomed myself, how great my skin looked, how good a perfume I was wearing smelled, etc. brightened my day and made me briefly forget about whatever was troubling me at that time.

“I’m a sucker for a compliment.” ~ Meghan Markle

Even an appreciative or admiring glance from a stranger can have an uplifting and transformative impact.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~ Leo Buscaglia

And just to be clear, this is not about copying or duplicating whatever the latest trends are.

It’s about taking the time to develop your own singular style and your own one of a kind persona so that you can embody and revel in being a unique, stylish and appealing version of YOU when you’re in the outside world.

“Don’t be into trends. Don’t make fashion own you, but you decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way you live.” ~ Gianni Versace

Most people have no idea the positive impact that personal grooming and embodying a chosen style of dressing which feels perfect for them has on their mental and emotional well-being.

How you feel about yourself is typically projected in how you groom and style yourself.

“Style is something each of us already has. All we need to do is find it.” ~ Diane von Furstenberg

When we step outside the door of our homes, we literally become a walking billboard projecting how we really feel about ourselves.

“Fashion is about dressing according to what’s fashionable. Style is more about being yourself.” ~ Oscar de la Renta

It’s not about being a fashion plate or dressing to the nines. It’s not even about how others perceive us, at least not primarily.

Paying attention to how we groom and style ourselves is primarily about improving our feelings of self worth and self confidence, both which plays a huge role in our mental and emotional well-being.

To put it simply:

When we look good, we tend to feel good.

“When you take care of yourself, you’re a better person for others. When you feel good about yourself, you treat others better.” ~ Solange Knowles

This is the reason why the products, tools and resources featured on Selfcaretaker.com go far beyond what is traditionally promoted as self care…

…because in addition to caring for your physical, mental and emotional health and well-being…

…your outer image and presentation to the outside world is also a very important part of caring for yourself.

“It’s really about changing the conversation. It’s not about perfection. It’s about purpose. We have to care about our bodies and what we put in them. Women have to take the time to focus on our mental health—take time for self, for the spiritual, without feeling guilty or selfish. The world will see you the way you see you and treat you the way you treat yourself.” ~ Beyoncé

In addition to highly effective, high quality, and all natural health products and nutritional supplements, healthy and/or delicious and unique food choices and weight loss and fitness items, relaxation and self care tools, travel products and resources, furnishings and decorative items to beautify and create a welcome sanctuary in your home, and a HUGE variety of other tools, products, and resources all geared towards caring for and supporting your physical, mental and emotional well-being….

Selfcaretaker.com also has high quality and non-toxic makeup, beauty, haircare, wigs, and skincare products, perfume, aromatherapy, bath, and spa products, clothing and cool stuff for men, jewelry, sunglasses and other eyewear, gift items, green and organic products, unique products for kids and pets, and some of the most unique, stylish and diverse clothing, shoes, and accessory fashion choices for women gathered together in one spot….

….all at diverse price points to make it affordable for most.

This is why this unique self care portal is also an online mall. 🙂

“Fall in love with taking care of yourself. Fall in love with the path of deep healing. Fall in love with becoming the best version of yourself but with patience, with compassion, and respect for your own journey.” ~ S. McNutt

In short…

…Selfcaretaker.com is about helping you to be the BEST version of your own unique and one of a kind self both inside and outside. 🙂

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” ~ Coco Chanel

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a commission for purchases made through the following links:

Following is a great way for women and men to begin immediately and affordably “upping their own style game.” 🙂

Spotlight: UrbaneBox is a fabulous online styling service for both women and men.

How it works:

UrbaneBox ships hand-selected outfits chosen by their stylists to their members throughout the USA and Canada with the key purpose of providing their customers with an easy method to build an effortless wardrobe with brands they know and trust as well as with up-and-coming labels.

UrbaneBox will put together a package together for you consisting of 2 to 3 staple items for your wardrobe, and you will only pay $74.99 for everything.

With the help of UrbaneBox personal stylists, you will both look and feel great!

Once you receive your first package you will fall head over heels with this service.

The items are yours to keep; no need to pay more!

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a small commission for purchases made through the following links:

Women can check UrbaneBox out here.

Men can check UrbaneBox out here.

BONUS: Are You a Big or Tall Guy?

If YES, please click here to check out The Winston Box – A Styling Service for the Big & Tall Man

“My thing was always about individuality and about creating a world – because you don’t just wear clothes, you live a life. You have style. You project who you are.” ~ Ralph Lauren

Here’s the thing:

Focusing on improving the outer you via your individual style and grooming will simultaneously help you to heal the inner you…

…and vice versa

…focusing on healing the inner you helps you to take more pride in how the outer you shows up in the outside world.

The common denominator in both focuses is each focus will help to develop more Self Love.

“Genuine love should first be directed at oneself – if we do not love ourselves, how can we love others?” ~ Dalai Lama

Indeed. The love that we fail to give to ourselves can never be adequately given to others.

No matter how much we may want to give our love to another, it will always be lacking, incomplete, or flawed if we are unable to love ourselves as well.

“I’ve always believed that fashion is not just what you look like on the outside, it’s a reflection of who you are on the inside.” ~ Kenneth Cole

“As above, so below; as below, so above.”

First things first…

….let’s begin with a few of Selfcaretaker.com’s recommended tools, resources and support for the INNER YOU…

…aka a few of the highly effective tools, resources, and support for your mental, physical, and emotional health and well being.

“Self-care has become a new priority — the revelation that it’s perfectly permissible to listen to your body and do what it needs.” ~ Frances Ryan

Following is what I believe is the #1 recommendation related to getting in touch with and on the road towards healing your INNER self:

“We may define therapy as a search for value.” ~ Abraham Maslow

As I’m sure you all know, we are living through some extremely stressful, really challenging, and very difficult times right now in our country. 

In fact so many American teens are in the midst of a mental and/or emotional health crisis today, U.S. hospitals can’t accommodate the sheer number of them.

The following headline and linked article is from The New York Times:

The New York Times – May 2022 – Hundreds of Suicidal Teens Sleep in Emergency Rooms. Every Night.

“With inpatient psychiatric services in short supply, adolescents are spending days, even weeks, in hospital emergency departments awaiting the help they desperately need.” ~ The New York Times – May 2022

Sadly this is all very understandable…

…and unfortunately this traumatic experience overload is not just happening to our nation’s teens.

It’s happening across all demographics, including America’s children.

When I was growing up, there was no such thing as mass school shootings or active shooter drills in our schools…

…yet this is tragically the reality America’s teens and kids are now living with…

…and it is understandably taking a great mental and emotional toll on them.

Case in point:

NBC News – September 2020 – Active Shooter Drills Are Meant to Prepare Students. But Research Finds ‘Severe’ Side Effects.

“A new report examining nearly 28 million social media posts tied to 114 schools finds higher rates of depression and stress following active shooter drills.” ~ NBC News

Following are links to even more important findings on this distressing topic:

Very Well Family – November 2022 Do Active Shooter Drills in Schools Create More Trauma For Students?

HuffPost – May 2022The Mental Health Toll Of Active Shooter Drills In Schools

Every Town – September 2020 The Impact of Active Shooter Drills in Schools: Time to Rethink Reactive School Safety Strategies

“The large number of youths who note the negative impact of drills on their emotional well-being suggests that school administrators, counselors, and policy makers should consider methods that prioritize student emotional health.” ~ American Psychiatric Association – May 2022

In addition to not making it so easy for kids and teens to be gunned down in their schools…

….America’s children should not be constantly reminded that they *could* be gunned down in their schools, yet they repeatedly are via “active shooting drills.”

To not know that this distressing practice will certainly have an extremely negative impact on not only our nation’s kids and teens mental and emotional health, but will also impact how they will grow up to see and view the world is frankly in my opinion insane.

Yet the proposed “solutions” keep getting more and more insane:

Meanwhile…

America’s kids and teens absolutely do not deserve to live this way.

Neither does any American just out and about living their daily lives deserve to live this way, as the embedded video in the following tweet featuring an actual ad from the FBI which illustrates what to do if you happen to be out enjoying yourself in a public location and a mass shooting suddenly breaks out:

“Another typical reaction to the (FBI) video was on Twitter from an Oklahoma scholarship foundation leader who wrote: “America is broken. Instead of addressing the cause of the carnage, we’re talking about how to survive a massacre like it’s a damn tornado.”~ Quote from the above linked Guardian UK article

*Moms Demand Action is a grassroots movement of Americans fighting for public safety measures that can protect people from mass shootings and gun violence.

Click here to learn more, to volunteer and to donate to Moms Demand Action

A very real danger is becoming numb or desensitized to it all.

“I want to feel my life while I’m in it.” ~ Meryl Streep

No matter how difficult all this may be, we must all strive to still feel our feelings, (including outrage at being the only industrialized country on earth forced to live this way.).

The biggest danger however is potentially losing our HUMANITY.

Humanity: compassionate, sympathetic, or generous behavior or disposition : the quality or state of being humane. ~ Merriam Webster Dictionary

Most importantly, we absolutely must strive to maintain our Humanity while living in extremely troubling, frequently unfeeling, and seemingly inhumane times.

If we allow ourselves to become numb to the constant trauma being inflicted on Americans of all ages from too many sources to count…

…we are most definitely in jeopardy of losing our basic humanity, just as a coping mechanism.

Indeed our bodies, our minds, our spirits are not designed to absorb this much unending violence, loss, grief, trauma, etc. 

The following are stats for 2017 which were reported in 2018 aka BEFORE a devastating pandemic hit the world:

Pacific Standard December 2018 – The US Suicide Rate Is At Its Highest In A Half-Century

“America is facing a suicide crisis.

A new survey on mortality and life expectancy in the United States, released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), found that 47,000 Americans took their own lives in 2017—2,000 more than recorded in 2016. The national suicide rate has increased 33 percent between 1999 and 2017, according to the CDC’s National Vital Statistics System data. What’s worse, a broader Associated Press analysis of government records indicates that American suicides are now at their highest point in 50 years. It’s now the second-leading cause of death for Americans under the age of 35.” ~ Pacific Standard – December 2018

Again, these are stats from 2017, three years before a devastating pandemic which has killed more than one million Americans hit this country while leaving countless millions of Americans mourning their deaths.

Parents.com – March 2022 – More Than 200,000 U.S. Children Have Lost a Parent to COVID-19

“According to recent data, more than 200,000 (American) children have lost a parent to COVID-19. These kids may be at risk for traumatic grief, depression, difficulties in school, and unintentional death or suicide.” ~ Parents.com – March 2022

What social network is in place to help these hundreds of thousands of grieving kids, particularly those who lost a single parent, whose remaining parent is still struggling because of the loss of their partner, or those kids who have no other immediate family?

I know of none.

People of all ages have to know that there are many more options to consider other than taking their own lives.

People have to be made to feel that they can COPE with whatever difficulty or challenge they are dealing with…

….no matter how hard, no matter how failed, no matter how much emotional pain they may feel.

People have to feel that their lives MATTER.

“The best advice I can give to anyone going through a rough patch is to never be afraid to ask for help.” ~ Demi Lovato

*If you live in the USA and are about to, thinking about, or have repeated thoughts about committing suicide, contact the following toll free, 24/7 suicide prevention hotline:

 1-800-273-8255

You can also now simply dial or text 988:

You can also reach a Crisis Counselor 24/7, 365 days a year by texting SHARE to #741741 via #CrisisTextLine which is available to Americans and Canadians:

I became deeply interested in our nation’s suicide epidemic when one of my favorite music artists, Chris Cornell, the lead singer of the band Soundgarden tragically committed suicide in 2017.

RIP Chris Cornell

“I’ve always liked depressing music because a lot of times, listening to it when you’re down can actually make you feel less depressed.” ~ Chris Cornell, lead singer of one of my favorite rock bands Soundgarden who committed suicide in 2017

The reason why depressing music sometimes makes us feel better is because humans need an outlet for their troubled feelings…

….and listening to great, soul stirring music, particularly music which helps to put our dark or traumatic feelings into words, can play a HUGE role in being that outlet.

And we ALL need an outlet.

Outlet: a means of release or satisfaction for an emotion or impulse ~ Merriam Webster Dictionary

Without an outlet to release our negative and dark feelings and emotions, we will end up either pretending they don’t exist, stuffing them deep inside, attempting to numb them with drugs, alcohol, porn, marijuana, etc. or simply trying to hide or ignore them…

…and while we pretend, stuff, numb, ignore, or try to hide our traumatic feelings and emotions, they will inevitably fester and get worse and worse.

This is how suicidal thoughts, feelings and acts tend to manifest, in addition to uncontrollable feelings of rage, depression, anxiety, and other physical, mental and emotional illnesses.

“Hiding sadness makes you more and more sad because it closes you off to your healing. Giving voice to what you’re feeling is part of healing.” ~ Susan L. Taylor

“Giving voice to what you’re feeling is part of healing.”

That’s really what it comes down to.

Giving a voice to all traumatic, negative and dark feelings and impulses and the reasons they exist instead of stuffing them, hiding them, drugging them, distracting them, numbing them, drinking them away, or simply pretending they don’t exist.

If it works at all, it will only work temporarily before those toxic feelings blow up within us causing a crisis in our lives and potentially the lives of our loved ones…

…a crisis made much worse because we will now likely have the addition of addictions, consequences, or issues stemming from our chosen coping mechanism to also deal with.

“We hide our stories because we don’t think we’re good enough.” ~ Michelle Obama, (Becoming)

We can escape this and feelings of unworthiness by giving our traumatic yet awkward and inconvenient feelings a voice so that we can begin to live much more authentically as we begin the journey towards healing them.

Exactly.

“…we teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.”

And this a primary reason why caring for every aspect of ourselves from the inside to the outside is so imperative…

…particularly right now while our world is so chaotic, unstable, and so very challenging to live in.

I would also like to add that although separating ourselves from unsafe and toxic people and situations is extremely beneficial and very necessary, for some situations it is easier said then done and should therefore be done with the utmost caution and care.

Depending on the situation or on how “unsafe” the person or people you are removing yourself from are, this should always be planned in advance and done in a manner which will keep you and your loved ones safe after you have left. 

Becoming a Selfcaretaker will not only help to give you the courage and the inner strength necessary to leave a toxic or unsafe relationship or a toxic environment if necessary…

…the more you care for and love yourself, the more that self care will help you to steer clear of toxic and unsafe people and situations in the future.

A Nation of Epidemics

Gun epidemic. Mass shooting epidemic. Suicide epidemic. Drug/Opioid/Fentanyl addiction and death epidemic. Homelessness epidemic. Child Poverty epidemic. Mental Health epidemic. Pandemic death epidemic. Grief epidemic. 

I could go on and on.

THIS is one of the primary reasons why I created Selfcaretaker.com because I wanted to help as many people as possible as we all live through these extremely difficult, challenging and chaotic times.

We simply have to make taking care of ourselves on a daily basis our #1 priority…

…or we are in jeopardy of losing ourselves. 

“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.” ~ Audre Lorde

*I promise things are going to get a lot lighter now with tons of hope, optimism, and most importantly SOLUTIONS via highly effective and affordable self care tips, tools and resources for the inner and outer YOU

….and a few of the highly effective self care tools and resources will be 100% Free for anyone to utilize. 🙂

Because therapy can be an extremely important tool in terms of achieving help, care, and healing…

….I would like to make the following 2 excellent recommendations for any adult who may need them.

“My brain and my heart are really important to me, I don’t know why I wouldn’t seek help to have those things be as healthy as my teeth. I go to the dentist. So why wouldn’t I go to a shrink?” ~ Kerry Washington

OR why wouldn’t you go to a Therapist? 

 “Through therapy and a lot of thinking and writing my memoirs, I’ve been able to use my life as a lesson.” ~ Jane Fonda

For those of us who aren’t legendary actresses or members of royalty…

….thankfully with the advent of the internet, receiving good and effective therapy is now much more accessible and affordable for the masses. 🙂

“If you are not happy with something, you should change it. So I went to a lot of therapy, and finally, I am able to speak up for myself: You are going to hear me roar!” ~ Katy Perry

If you don’t have access to good therapy via your health insurance, if you don’t have health insurance, or if traditional therapy is out of your price range…

…the following two excellent and affordable therapy resources may help and benefit you or a loved one a great deal.

“Look, I didn’t want to go to therapy when I started going, I was like, ‘no, I’m good, I don’t need that, but to be honest, I’m happy I went. I’m happy I forced myself to go when I didn’t always want to go. Because I felt so much better when I left.” ~ Michael Phelps, an American former competitive swimmer. He is the most successful and most decorated Olympian of all time with a total of 28 medals.

(1) Frequently seen featured and recommended on CBS broadcast stations, Online Therapy.com is a therapy platform based purely on Science.

Their excellent online therapy program is based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (C.B.T.). 

“There are a variety of techniques to help people change the kind of thinking that leads them to become depressed. These techniques are called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.” ~ Irving Kirsch Ph.D., American psychologist and lecturer at Harvard Medical School

C.B.T. has been developed on the idea that our thoughts (head) are what cause our feelings (heart) and behaviors, not external stimuli like people, situations and events.

C.B.T. is one of the most commonly used methods for treating mental health issues and problems. Studies show that online therapy based on C.B.T. is just as effective as traditional face-to-face therapy.

Online Therapy.com offers you a complete Happiness Toolbox.

Get matched with a qualified therapist within minutes.

You can start working with a licensed and credentialed therapist online for as little as $40.00 (US) a week as an individual, and Couples Therapy is also available.

PLUS: Receive a 20% discount off your first week of therapy.

*This type of therapy isn’t suited for children, but teenagers can utilize Online Therapy.com if both parents first email their consent.

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a small commission for purchases made through the following link:

Learn all the exciting details about this truly outstanding and highly effective therapy program and receive your 20% off at the following link:

Online Therapy.com

“Thirties. Go to therapy. Clean up all of the sh-t. Clean up all of the toxins and the noise. Understand who you are. Educate yourself on the self.” ~ Jennifer Aniston, American actress

(2) Calmerry – Feel Calm With Online Therapy

*Featured in Vogue, Forbes Health and Insider magazines.

With Calmerry Online Therapy, you can work with licensed therapists through problems and painful emotions to help you start a new and more fulfilling life.

With Calmerry, you can get professional and effective Mental Health Support wherever you are and whenever you need it.

You can chat with your licensed therapist privately or have live video sessions while building a life with greater meaning.

Select the subscription plan that best suits your needs and budget.

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a small commission for purchases made through the following link:

Plans start at just $50.00 (US) per week, and you will also receive 30% off at the following link:

Calmerry Online Therapy website

“I believe that the therapist’s function should be to help people become free to be aware of and to experience their possibilities.” ~ Rollo May, the influential founder of Existential Psychotherapy in the United States and a co-founder of Humanistic Psychology with Abraham Maslow and Carl Rogers.

BONUS Spotlight: Thera Robe – Wrap Yourself In Calm Reclaim Your Relaxation!

Thera is a weighted product company that focuses on the importance of mental health and finding calm in your everyday life.

Thera designed the first-ever weighted robe, the Therarobe!

The Therarobe offers an accessible and comfortable drug-free alternative for everyday stress and anxiety relief.

Therarobe is made to feel like a BIG HUG and comes with many of the same benefits.

Thera has since added a kid’s robe and a weighted blanket with more products on the way!

“The deep touch stimulation that the Therarobe provides can significantly reduce anxiety. It is a great addition to psychotherapy and other modalities of treatment. I would definitely recommend Therarobe to my patients.” ~ Jeff Paley, MD. Internist

“The design of the Therarobe gives the feeling of a hug. I would recommend the Therarobe to patients as an adjunct to conventional treatments for those suffering from anxiety or depression. It could be a helpful addition to other treatments” ~ Halana Rothbort, MD. Psychiatrist

“The wrapped cocooning design of the Therarobe simulates a hug and helps provide feelings of calm and security. I would recommend the Therarobe to my patients struggling with stress and anxiety. It could be a beneficial addition to many during their therapy sessions.” ~ Neal C. Goldberg, PH.D. Psychologist

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a small commission for purchases made through the following link:

Click here to learn more exciting details and to try the amazing Therarobe.

“Self-care is how you take your power back.” ~ Lalah Delia

A Note About The Volatile and Chaotic Times We Are All Currently Living In:

“All of us might wish at times that we lived in a more tranquil world, but we don’t. And if our times are difficult and perplexing, so are they challenging and filled with opportunity.” ~ Robert Kennedy

But first you have to prepare yourself and get your mind, body and emotions into a space where you can meet the challenges and better see the opportunities in spite of the uncertainty and chaos.

And that is what Selfcaretaker.com is all about.

“I think you have to make time for yourself so that work doesn’t become the end-all be-all.” ~ Meghan Markle, (before she became the Duchess of Sussex)

Knowing that many people are having great difficulty coping and dealing with the immense stress, fear and anxiety of all that is going on in America and in the world right now…

…Selfcaretaker.com was created to offer a wide variety of unique, effective and high quality tools and resources to help you to better deal with these extremely chaotic and volatile times which we are all living through at the present in a non toxic and non-pharmaceutical way.

“You have to schedule and make time for your joy. Otherwise burnout is inevitable” ~ Michelle Obama

I don’t need to tell you that the times we are all now living through are extremely stressful, difficult and challenging for most.

What I do need to tell you is that in order for us to THRIVE in spite of the constant instability, uncertainty, and chaos will require us to de-stress regularly.

It will require us to focus like a laser beam on getting physically, mentally and emotionally healthier.

It will require us to engage in daily ME TIME via self care routines, rituals, and practices.

And it will require us to just take better care of both our inner and outer selves.

This is all vital if we wish to do more than merely exist or cope in life…

….if we wish to excel and succeed while living within these highly chaotic and extremely volatile times…

….because I think America and the world will continue to be this way for a long time…

…and we must all learn to ADAPT to this semi-permanent chaos, challenge and instability so we can all THRIVE and hopefully SHINE in the midst of it all.

“It’s not enough to just survive something, right? That’s not the point of life. You’ve got to thrive, you’ve got to feel happy.” ~ Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex

Basically we are going to have to create a new normal for ourselves instead having one imposed on us as has been the case over the past few years…

…a new normal which is to our benefit vs being to our detriment.

“The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.” ~ George C. Scott

Please know that you have everything you need inside of you right now to handle these turbulent times or else you wouldn’t be here.

We were all born on whatever day and in whatever year we were born on and in to live through the current very troubling times and that is for a reason.

Only you know or can figure out that reason for yourself.

Nothing is a coincidence nor an accident, and that includes each and every one of our lives, so please hang in there.

“Remain calm, serene, always in command of yourself. You will then find out how easy it is to get along.” ~ Yogananda

On that note…

….I would like to begin by offering 2 Free Tools which will immediately help anyone who needs to achieve that illusive calmness and serenity right now. 🙂

Free Gift #1: With all that is now going on, there are MANY people living under a great deal of STRESS right now.

Chronic Stress can be DEADLY, and that’s no joke.

For example, did you know there are almost 600,000 deaths caused by Heart Attacks each year in the U.S?

Again….

….600,000 deaths every year….

…most of them sudden death without warning…

…and that does not include the heart attacks which fortunately don’t end in death, but can have a long-term devastating impact on a life and/or family all the same.

What is a MAJOR culprit in developing heart disease and most other health issues and problems today?

Answer: CHRONIC STRESS

Do you find it almost impossible to ever truly relax?

Do you need a way to remove the stress from your life on a daily basis which will calm your nerves and help you to cope with whatever chaos the world throws at you?

Stress is a common problem in the lives of many people.

There’s so much going on and it becomes difficult to juggle everything all at once.

The pressures make relaxing tricky at the best of times, causing all that stress to build up until it threatens to explode.

But stress can be brought under control…

….and Hypnosis can help you do it.

The Good News?

Hypnosis Audios used daily can help you to deal with chronic stress more effectively, and you can experience this for yourself…for Free.

Access a highly effective Free hypnosis audio program titled “Eliminate Stress” and also a wonderful ebook titled “The 18 Rules Of Happiness” both which you can download and access immediately from Hypnosis Live for 100% Free.

Just get yourself a pair of good stereo headphones or stereo ear buds and relax with this audio at least once a day, (preferably every morning), but it can be used anytime you need to de-stress.

Eliminate Stress Hypnosis Program & Ebook Package – (100% Free)

“Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy, and rewarding life.” ~ Marilu Henner

And please DON’T forget our adolescents, teens, and college students:

The New York Times – April 2022 – “It’s Life or Death’: The Mental Health Crisis Among U.S. Teens

“Depression, self-harm and suicide are rising among American adolescents.” ~ NYT – April 2022

*This 100% Free hypnosis audio program and ebook package is also great for adolescents, teens, and college students….

…so please share this very valuable yet 100% Free gift with any adolescent, teen or college student that you know who may be struggling mentally and/or emotionally.

Hypnosis audios can be a highly effective option for a multitude of personal problems and issues.

*At the following link you can browse over 200 highly effective yet very low cost self-hypnosis MP3 audio downloads created by the highly qualified hypnosis professionals at Hypnosis Live.

Get guaranteed results — or your money back.

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a commission for purchases made through the following link:

200+ Hypnosis Programs From Hypnosis Live

“Work hard on your job and you can make a living, but work hard on yourself and you can make a fortune.” ~ Jim Rohn, best-selling author and legendary self help expert

Free Gift #2: If you are having a difficult time remaining calm or anxiety free during these uncertain, unstable and chaotic times…

….here is a full length subliminal audio album which you can also download immediately for 100% Free which will help you get to being calm titled “Deep Calm” offered by Real Subliminal.

“When life gets tough, your calmness becomes your greatest weapon.” ~ Syed Balkhi

Just listen to the full “Deep Calm” subliminal album at least once daily preferably while sitting back and relaxing with good stereo headphones or stereo ear buds…

…but you can also listen to subliminal recordings without headphones in the background as you go about your day at home or work.

Whatever way you choose to listen to it, on some level IT WILL HELP YOU…

….and it is 100% Free for immediate download as a gift to you at the following link:

Deep Calm Subliminal audio album from Real Subliminal – (100% Free)

*This Free subliminal album is also wonderful for adolescents, teens and college students to utilize.

Subliminal Programming can be a highly effective option for a multitude of personal problems and issues.

*At the following link you can browse over 200 highly effective yet very low cost subliminal MP3 audio downloads created by the highly qualified subliminal  experts at Real Subliminal.

Get guaranteed results — or your money back.

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a commission for purchases made through the following link:

200+ Real Subliminal Audio Programs

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life.” ~ Golda Meir

Now I am going to show you how to use both of these valuable 100% Free tools together to get the best results:

The “Deep Calm” subliminal audio album and the “Eliminate Stress” hypnosis audio program used together daily for a minimum of 30 to 60 days…

…can prove to be a truly life changing experience.

I suggest you use the “Eliminate Stress” hypnosis program every morning with stereo headphones before you begin your day to start your day off stress free….

….and use the “Deep Calm” subliminal program throughout the day in the background as you work, headphones aren’t necessary or are optional.

If necessary, you can use the “Eliminate Stress” hypnosis program again with stereo headphones at the end of your day.

Do this daily routine for a minimum of 30 to 60 days straight for your BEST results, and longer if necessary.

*BONUS: You can also use the “Deep Calm” subliminal album while you sleep.

Headphones for sleeping or “Bed Phones” would be ideal to use for this purpose and you will find them linked here. 

Use the hypnosis and subliminal program together, (mornings for the hypnosis and during your day for the subliminal) for a minimum of 30 to 60 days as described and just see for yourselves how much less stressed and less anxious you will quickly begin to feel.

What have you got to lose? They are both 100% Free.

“Peace is all around us, in the world and in nature, and within us in our bodies and our spirits. Once we learn to touch this peace, we will be healed and transformed. It is not a matter of faith, it is a matter of practice.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

PEACE.

Wouldn’t it be great to achieve more peace, inner stability, and calm in your life?

The GOOD NEWS is using these two highly effective hypnosis and subliminal programs daily as described can potentially be a GAME CHANGER in your everyday life….

…for the BETTER 🙂

Again, you have absolutely NOTHING to lose and EVERYTHING to gain.

*Please don’t forget that both of these 100% Free programs are wonderful for adolescents, teens, and college students too.

**Both the hypnosis and ebook package and the subliminal audio program combined is a more than $60.00 (US) value…

…so please let as many people as possible know about these truly valuable, healing and game changing 100% Free gifts.

“Many of us have been running all our lives. Practice stopping.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

It’s time to STOP and bring the stress and anxiety levels in America WAY DOWN so we can be more centered, productive and proactive…

….and these two wonderful 100% Free gifts used daily as directed will help to do just that 🙂

“Just breathe. Sometimes you’re only a few breaths away from feeling better.” ~ Amy Poehler

In addition to Hypnosis and Subliminal Programming being excellent self care, self improvement and self empowerment tools to help to relieve stress, induce calm, gain more confidence, and to improve and/or empower yourself in countless other ways…

….adding high quality and really effective nutritional supplements, healing teas, and nutritious food choices to your daily regimen is also a MUST to better your physical health and well being.

Selfcaretaker.com Spotlight: Well Told Health – Plant-Based Remedies Backed By Science

Well Told Health is a female-founded, emerging plant-based nutrition and wellness company that offers completely clean supplements made from organic plants and nothing else.

All products are vegan, Non-GMO Project verified, and contain no synthetics, no fillers, and no isolates.

Founded by serial entrepreneur and award-winning leader Monica Ruffo, it was after undergoing treatment for breast cancer and deciding to take her health into her own hands that she discovered the lack of transparency and availability of clean, plant-based formulations in the wellness industry.

As Monica continued her quest to better understand natural health products, she successfully completed a Certificate in Plant-Based Nutrition from Cornell University and decided to found Well Told Health.

“I created a company that I wished had been around when I was doing everything I could to reinforce my own health and turn things around. Information on products was so hard to decipher, there is such a lack of transparency in this industry. I created Well Told Health as much for myself and the people I love as for everyone else.” ~ Monica Ruffo, founder of Well Told Health

Well Told Health’s excellent and all natural products come in powerful therapeutic does and it’s 125,000+ happy customers can’t be wrong.

*What I really love about Well Told Health’s products besides their extremely high quality and effectiveness is they are also very affordable for 100% plant based products.

Right now for a limited time and while supplies last Well Told Health is gifting your choice of two of it’s highly effective product formulations with any purchase,

Again while supplies last, choose between Well Told Health’s amazing Stress Fighter or Beauty Sleep formulations absolutely Free of charge (up to a $29.99 value).

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a commission for purchases made through the following link.

Click here to access Well Told Health’s truly amazing product line and to check out it’s highly effective all natural formulations for yourself.

Remember….

….how you feel on a daily basis depends on what you do every day towards supporting your physical, mental and emotional well-being.

That’s self care.

When you focus daily on all three…

….your physical, mental, and emotional health and well-being…

….in addition to focusing on upgrading your outer self and image via how you choose to style and present yourself to the outside world when you walk out your door…

…you are a Selfcaretaker 🙂

Regarding your physical and mental health and well-being….

…there is indeed a direct connection between our physical and mental health which is currently unknown or being ignored by most Americans which has been labeled by many medical researchers “The Gut-Brain Axis.”

“Research shows that the gut and brain are connected, a partnership called the gut-brain axis. The two are linked through biochemical signaling between the nervous system in the digestive tract, called the enteric nervous system, and the central nervous system, which includes the brain. The primary information connection between the brain and gut is the vagus nerve, the longest nerve in the body. The gut has been called a “second brain” because it produces many of the same neurotransmitters as the brain does, like serotonin, dopamine, and gamma-aminobutyric acid, all of which play a key role in regulating mood. In fact, it is estimated that 90% of serotonin is made in the digestive tract.” ~ Harvard Medical School June 2019

Fascinating.

*That excerpt is from a 2019 Harvard Medical School article titled “Probiotics May Help Boost Mood and Cognitive Function” which you can read in full here.

Researching this topic was a major Ah-Hah moment for me.

Whenever I was nervous, anxious, upset, or felt any feelings of unease, low mood, or negativity…

…I would inevitably also have an upset or queasy stomach or experience major disruptions in my digestive system.

“Have you ever felt queasy before an interview? Do you feel butterflies when you are excited or about to give a speech in front of a large audience? Do you feel nauseous when confronted with foul smells or just by imagining pending doom? All these are some outward manifestations of what you are feeling. The brain sends signals to the enteric system through the gut-brain communication pathway, which might result in stomach upset when you feel overwhelmed or emotional.” ~ Excerpt from Longevity Technology article titled “Gut-Brain Connection: How Probiotics Can Improve Mental Health – March 2023

Again, fascinating.

So why does this happen?

To recap…

…according to Harvard Medical School, 90% of serotonin is made in the digestive tract, the stomach, the gut.

What is Serotonin?

“Serotonin is a neurotransmitter (chemical messenger) produced within the central nervous system (CNS) that contributes to feelings of happiness.” ~ Simply Pyschology.org

“…contributes to feelings of happiness.”

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter. What are neurotransmitters?

“Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers that your body can’t function without. Their job is to carry chemical signals (“messages”) from one neuron (nerve cell) to the next target cell. The next target cell can be another nerve cell, a muscle cell or a gland.” ~ Cleveland Clinic.org

An extremely important point about Serotonin:

“A low level of serotonin in the brain is thought to be a cause of depression.” ~ Cancer.gov

And depression can lead to a countless number of catastrophic events and consequences in a person’s life and also for those who love them.

Depression is also a common precursor for suicidal ideation, thoughts, tendencies and tragically also suicide outcomes.

*For those who would like to learn more about this important topic, I highly recommend the informative yet fascinating book titled “The Mind-Gut Connection: How the Hidden Conversation within Our Bodies Impacts Our Mood, Our Choices, and Our Overall Health” by Emeran Mayer MD which you can check out here at Book Lender.

So what can we do about this?

“In recent years, scientists have increasingly recognized the power of the gut microbiome in influencing physical and mental health. While the central nervous system or the brain regulates emotions, scientists now acknowledge that the gut’s enteric system is crucial in regulating emotions. Scientists discovered the gut-brain connection that the real enteric and nervous systems are interconnected and influence one another.” ~ Excerpt from Longevity Technology article titled “Gut-Brain Connection: How Probiotics Can Improve Mental Health – March 2023

If we know that 90% of serotonin is produced by our digestive systems or guts…

….and we know that having a low level of serotonin can cause depression, low moods, anxiety, or at the very least can cause adverse changes in our moods or cause us to not feel happy or stable…

…shouldn’t a serious focus in our daily self care regimen be on supporting a healthier level of serotonin being produced in our digestive systems or guts and creating a healthy balance between the Gut-Brain Axis?

This brings me to the extremely important topic of Probiotics.

What are Probiotics?

“Probiotics are made of good live bacteria and/or yeasts that naturally live in your body. You constantly have both good and bad bacteria in your body. When you get an infection, there’s more bad bacteria, knocking your system out of balance. Good bacteria helps eliminate extra bad bacteria, returning the balance. Probiotic-supplements are a way to add good bacteria to your body.” ~ Cleveland Clinic

Here are some functions of Probiotics in the body:

*Boost the immune response of the body

*Produce substances such as neurotransmitters and vitamins that have health benefits for the body

*Help the gut’s microbiome return to its healthy state after experiencing disruption ~ Source: Longevity Technology

Probiotics have many beneficial and important health benefits, (including potentially helping to support and boost the immune system)…

…but the fact that they can possibly help to bring healing and balance to the Gut-Brain Axis to potentially support our mental health in addition to our gut health is a major reason why taking an excellent probiotic supplement daily should be an important part of everyone’s self care regimen.

“Probiotics can do more than improve your gut health. They also may indirectly enhance your brain, too.” ~ Excerpt from 2019 Harvard Medical School article titled “Probiotics May Help Boost Mood and Cognitive Function”

“Current studies on the effects of probiotics supplementation on mental and physical health showed that it could help maintain a healthy gut, increase the diversity of the microbial population and improve mood or reduce symptoms of depression. Improving the gut’s health would help the good bacteria produce neurotransmitters that enhance mood and prevent depression.” ~ Excerpt from Longevity Technology article titled “Gut-Brain Connection: How Probiotics Can Improve Mental Health – March 2023

Considering that it should now be very obvious how extremely important Probiotics and Gut Health in general is to caring for and maintaining both Physical Health and Mental Health and well being…

…no authentic Self Care regimen should ever ignore it.

For this reason I have researched and compiled what I believe is an excellent collection of Probiotic and Gut/Colon Detox companies for your review.

Important Note: It’s vital to know that not all Probiotics are the same, and many formulations currently on the market are far less potent and much less effective than others. 

I learned this lesson the hard way via many months of trial and error while on my own search for an effective and high quality Probiotic which actually worked for me.

For example, a product advertising that it has “1 billion CFU per capsule” may sound like a lot until you recognize that this is truly only a tiny drop in the bucket compared to the trillions of good and bad bacterial organisms that are actually living in our bodies.

The KEY is to not allow the bad bacteria to over run the good bacteria which is why daily supplementation with Probiotics is so necessary, especially if you have consumed antibiotics which tends to kill both good and bad bacteria when taken.

Also please do not confuse “Lactobacillus Acidophilus” with a full spectrum “Probiotic” and “Prebiotic” because they are not the same, particularly in regard to overall effectiveness.

Knowing how confusing I myself found this entire topic and how long I had to research and try several products until I found the perfect one for my own unique personal needs is why I have compiled a collection of what I believe are the best and most diverse Probiotic/Prebiotic supplements on the market all based on my own trial and error personal research.

“Death begins in the colon.” ~ Elie Metchnikoff, Russian Nobel Prize winning scientist

*Please click the following link to check out Selfcaretaker’s well-researched and complete listing of highly effective Probiotic supplement products for you, your family, and even for your pets, and also several very effective Colon Detox products to help detox and improve the health of the colon.

Selfcaretaker.com Gut Health Care: A Broad Variety of Excellent Probiotic & Detox Choices For You & Your Family

“The future of mental health will involve: nervous system awareness, gut health, community support, and trauma healing. Rather than fixing or suppressing symptoms, it will be about unlearning our conditioning and returning to our authentic selves.” ~ Dr. Nicole LePera, psychologist and author of the must read book “How to Do the Work.”

Who would have ever thought that what’s happening in our guts directly impacts what’s happening in our brains???

Well, that is actually the very basis of Holistic Medicine:

“Holistic means encompassing the whole of a thing, and not just the part. Holistic medicine looks at the whole person for answers, not just at physical symptoms.” ~ Vocabulary.com

*To learn more about the fascinating topic of Holistic Health, please read or listen to the fascinating book “Whole Health: A Holistic Approach to Healing for the 21st Century” by Mark Mincolla

What the Holistic Health approach recognizes:

“Every thought, emotion, vibration or action leads to a series of chemical changes in the body. All ailments are a result of disharmony in the life force.”

“Treating an ailment on molecular level alone, seldom has a lasting effect as the untreated social, emotional, mental, spiritual and energetic patterns will cause the ailment to manifest once again on a physical plane.” ~ Biogetica – Full Spectrum Health

This is in complete alignment with the following ancient wisdom:

“One must treat the body as a whole, rather than a series of parts.” ~ Hippocrates – The Father of Medicine – (464-370 BC)

It seems to me that it’s time for more humans to check out the holistic or WHOLE BODY approach to better deal with maintaining their health and well being.

Selfcaretaker.com Spotlight: Biogetica – Heal The Entire Being

Biogetica doctors are on a mission to bring nature back to medicine and whole person healing back to mankind.

Biogetica has a unique and comprehensive Holographic model of healing which synthesizes all prevalent medicine systems to simultaneously ease physical, energetic, mental and emotional layers of your being.

Biogetica offers Free Ayurvedic and Homeopathic Doctor Consultations to Anyone and Everyone Who Needs them 24/7.

These are not customer service or sales reps, these are actual doctors.

Biogetica offers Free Consultations round the clock to anyone and everyone regardless of financial status, nationality or anything else and also offers a 100% Money Back Guarantee for their affordable holistic products and services which also comes with a needs-based discount if you are financially challenged.

The BEST part:

“Last but not least the one thing we are most proud of is the fact that we have never had to turn one customer away if they could not pay. Their own country may let them suffer in silence but it is not in our heart to deny someone the healing the earth provides.” ~ From Biogetica’s website

*You can receive a Free Online Doctor Consultation regarding your health or health issue or you can call and talk to a doctor directly if you live in the following countries:

USA, UK, Australia, New Zealand and India

With more than 100,000 satisfied customers for it’s revolutionary holistic health products world-wide, Biogetica’s consortium of doctors and scientists are striving each day to help people to recognize that our bodies are Nature in its purest form.

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a commission for purchases made through the following link:

Biogetica offers a 100% Free Doctor Consultation for any Ailment with 24/7 availability at this link.

Americans are presently living in an epidemic of constant grief, traumatic fear, and perpetual crisis on too many fronts to count.

“Being a therapist right now feels like handing sunscreen out to people who are on fire.” ~ Amy Marschall, PsyD, Therapist & Clinical Psychologist via Twitter – May 25, 2022

An estimated 40 MILLION adult Americans were diagnosed with Depression in 2019 in a country with no universal healthcare.

In addition to a deadly pandemic now being added into the mix, this means that it is highly likely that there are many more than 40 million adult Americans living with Depression because many can’t get diagnosed because they don’t have access to healthcare.

In addition to the vital need to focus on gut health, more and more research is showing how Depression may be connected to our nutritional status and the absence of vital nutrients in our diets.

For example in March 2006, the National Institute of Health (NIH) documented the following about the role just one mineral (Magnesium) plays in alleviating Major Depression:

“Major depression is a mood disorder characterized by a sense of inadequacy, despondency, decreased activity, pessimism, anhedonia and sadness where these symptoms severely disrupt and adversely affect the person’s life, sometimes to such an extent that suicide is attempted or results.”

“In magnesium deficiency, neuronal requirements for magnesium may not be met, causing neuronal damage which could manifest as depression. Magnesium treatment is hypothesized to be effective in treating major depression resulting from intraneuronal magnesium deficits. These magnesium ion neuronal deficits may be induced by stress hormones, excessive dietary calcium as well as dietary deficiencies of magnesium.”

“Magnesium was found usually effective for treatment of depression in general use.” ~ From March 2006 NIH abstract document titled “Rapid Recovery From Major Depression Using Magnesium Treatment” which is linked here.

In fact, The National Institute of Health (NIH) found taking magnesium every day to be so effective in helping to treat major depression that it said and recommended the following:

“The possibility that magnesium deficiency is the cause of most major depression and related mental health problems including IQ loss and addiction is enormously important to public health and is recommended for immediate further study. Fortifying refined grain and drinking water with biologically available magnesium to pre-twentieth century levels is recommended.” ~ From March 2006 NIH abstract document titled “Rapid recovery from major depression using magnesium treatment.”

Unfortunately that was never done by our government, BUT we can take steps on our own to ensure that we have enough magnesium in our daily diet. 

Studies show that Magnesium is critical to more than 300 metabolic reactions in the body, all which are necessary to maintain whole body health.

“Magnesium is critical to more than 300 metabolic reactions. To name a few, the nutrient is necessary for neurotransmitter, enzyme, and hormonal activity; mitochondrial protein, DNA and RNA synthesis; and glucose homeostasis, active transport, and glutathione and ATP production. Conversely, inadequate magnesium levels can contribute to insomnia, seizures, anxiety, pain, and other neuropsychiatric problems.” ~ From July 2014 article from Psychiatry Advisor titled “Magnesium: An Essential Supplement for Psychiatric Patients”

In addition to depression, there are many other health issues which could be caused by a magnesium deficiency, like muscle cramps, insomnia, high stress, anxiety, high blood pressure and fatigue to name a few.

“It is estimated that about half of the United States population consumes less than the RDA of magnesium. The estimated severity of magnesium deficits has led some experts to suggest that many people need greater than 300 milligrams of magnesium per day to replete and maintain body stores.” ~ Wholistic Matters

The GOOD NEWS is that magnesium deficiency can be easily corrected and we can immediately begin supplementing our diets with this extremely important nutrient.

“(Magnesium) supplementation can restore the nutrient to healthy levels and reverse many devastating health problems associated with deficiency. Standard multivitamins only contain about one quarter of the recommended daily dietary intake. But additional magnesium supplements may be taken orally as magnesium oxide, hydroxide, sulfate, chloride, gluconate, citrate, or other forms. Transdermal magnesium supplements are also available in the form of topical creams, gels, and Epsom salt baths.” ~ From July 2014 article from Psychiatry Advisor titled “Magnesium: An Essential Supplement for Psychiatric Patients”

Transdermal magnesium supplements via a potent magnesium spray which is sprayed directly on the skin is my personal favorite way to supplement magnesium in my body.

What I like most about it is I can feel it working almost immediately because it bypasses the gut and absorbs directly into the skin and blood stream in less than two minutes.

I also like that it’s all natural and 100% safe to use on children, and it’s also safe for pets. 🙂

I have also found transdermal magnesium spray to be extremely effective for targeted pain relief and for treating insomnia which is what I initially began using it for. I also found that I had more energy during the day after using it.

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a commission for purchases made through the following link:

Following is a link to the highly effective transdermal Magnesium spray I regularly use.

Ease Magnesium – Purest Magnesium Spray on the Planet

Also for those dealing with Depression….

Biogetica has created a highly touted, all natural, and 100% non-toxic nutrition kit geared towards addressing Depression from a holistic health perspective which you can check out in addition to consulting with one of Biogetica’s experienced doctors 24/7 and at zero cost at this link

“Self-care is so much more than a beauty regimen or an external thing you do. It has to start within your heart to know what you need to navigate your life.” ~ Carrie Anne Moss

Selfcaretaker.com Spotlight- Thrivelab: Long Live YOU

Attention Ladies & Gents Over 30:

Have you ever considered your mental, physical and/or emotional health issues could be hormonal?

In addition to gut health and high quality nutrition…

….healthy, vibrant living starts with Balanced Hormones

Thrivelab believes hormone therapy should be accessible, affordable and personalized.

Thrivelab helps to restore youthful vitality in men and women who have tried it all.

Have you had it with doctors who don’t listen?

Are you tired of debilitating symptoms being passed off as “part of aging”?

Worse still, could you have been misdiagnosed and prescribed medications that are actually making things worse?

The doctors at Thrivelab hear these stories from patients every day.

At Thrivelab, they will team you with one supportive, understanding board-certified provider and nurse practitioner that you can access on-demand via telehealth.

It’s a return to relationship-based medicine where your provider really gets to know you and your symptoms.

That’s why typical Thrivelab consults take 45 minutes, which is 300% longer than a typical PCP visit.

Some possible benefits you could experience from joining Thrivelab include:

*Stabilized moods

*Youthful skin and hair

*More energy

*Higher metabolism

*Improved libido

*Mental clarity

*Leaner muscle

*Burn fat

*More stamina

*Restored sex drive

Thrivelab has 25+ years of medical expertise specializing in hormone health

One of the world’s foremost hormone health and aging experts is part of the Thrivelab clinical team.

The company’s Chief Scientific Officer, Dr. Patel, has treated over 250,000 patients spanning 25 years.

In 90 days or less, experience life changing results!

*Based on past results, Thrivelab has been proven to resolve 80% of patients’ hormone imbalance symptoms within 90 days.

To find out if Thrivelab can help you, it offers a Free online self assessment, one for women and one for men.

Built on years of clinical research, Thrivelab’s Free self-assessment captures all patient symptomatology, including frequency and severity, as well as vital information for diagnostics and exclusions.

Thrivelab has a 4.7/5 service rating on Trustpilot and 90% of patients are still with Thrivelabs after 90 days.

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a commission for purchases made through the following link.

Click here to learn more important details, to listen to video testimonials from Thrivelab patients, and to begin your Free self-assessment.

“With every act of self-care your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side, I am on my side, each day I am more and more on my own side.” ~ Susan Weiss Berry

Next is Selfcaretaker.com’s focus on caring for and UP-leveling your OUTER SELF via your image, personal style, personal grooming, wardrobe, skincare, haircare, beauty, etc.

One of the many goals of Selfcaretaker.com is to inspire every woman to treat themselves as the Goddess or Princess they already are, deep down inside.

“Deep in every heart slumbers a dream, and the couturier knows it: every woman is a princess.” ~ Christian Dior

This is not about putting on airs, being full of yourself, being self-centered or condescending, or being spoiled.

It’s simply about raising your own view of YOU

….and your outward appearance reflecting your raised view of yourself on the inside.

It’s about your inside and your outside reflecting YOU as a woman worthy of dignity, attention, and respect.

When that happens, you truly are upping or RAISING your life game. 🙂

“Self-care is giving the world the best you instead of what’s left of you.” ~ Katie Reed

While doing research for this highly interesting topic…

….I became really fascinated with how well dressed and stylish the average woman used to dress decades ago on the streets of America.

Case in point:

*Attention Ladies: Are you interested in Retro or Vintage Fashion from the 1920s through the 60s?

You are not alone.

Retro Stage delivers retro styles and fashion items including dresses, shoes and accessories to over ten thousand customers every year.

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a commission for purchases made through the following link.

Click here to check out Retro-Stage’s truly awesome collection of Retro fashion created for today’s woman.

Continuing…

….and it wasn’t just the women who slayed.

The men were dapper and stylish too!

Even viewing photos taken during the Great Depression

…Americans had a certain style to the way they dressed on the street.

Back then, I really feel that Americans fully understood how important their outer image and public appearance was to uplifting their feelings of self confidence, self worth and self esteem.

They intrinsically knew that an antidote to feeling low is to dress UP.

“What you wear signals to others who you are and where you belong in this world. It also tells your own brain what kind of behaviors and traits it needs to possess while wearing that kind of outfit.” ~ From Craving Current article titled “Look Good, Feel Great: The Psychology of Clothing”

Back then, people not only had style, they had pride about the way they looked when they stepped out of the house, even while living in the midst of the Great Depression.

Pride: a reasonable or justifiable self-respect. ~ Merriam-Webster

“You decide what you are, what you want to express, by the way you dress.” ~ Gianni Versace

To further prove my point….

…check out this video which I found on YouTube featuring many people walking down a random street in NYC during the 1930s which was the time when America experienced the Great Depression.

Here are just a few of the many comments left on that fascinating YouTube video:

“A reality check of a past civilization. People with pride, respectful attire, attentive in their stride, and fully engaged in their purpose of going somewhere.”

“All these souls are gone, no longer alive that roam the streets we walk on today. Look at how gorgeous they were, elegant, in shape, their suits, dresses. Wow, what an amazing time.”

“Everybody looks so classy. The ladies are very elegant compared to today. This is during the great depression. We have really gone downhill in many ways.”

“How beautifully dressed everybody is, the women look so elegant.”

“Loved this video and would like to see more. I grew up in Jersey City, so would definitely like to see some of Downtown back then. I like seeing how people dressed and took pride in how they looked. No sloppy people here.”

Fast Forward to NOW.

….Americans seem to have devolved instead of evolving our street style game, and I believe this unconscious devolution has played a huge role in how millions of Americans now feel about themselves.

It should come as no surprise that before she became a Royal Duchess…

….Meghan Markle’s street fashion game was always stylish and on point long before she met and married Prince Harry.

Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex

*Image of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

Here are just a few out of many examples of Meghan Markle’s stylish and savvy street style game before she attracted the attention of a real-life Prince:

Images of Meghan Markle, Copyright: All Rightful owners

“Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they notice the woman.” ~ Coco Chanel

Whether walking down a sidewalk, crossing a street, sitting in a restaurant, going to a yoga session, or just walking her dog…

….Meghan dressed and styled herself in a way which said to the outer world “I really love and respect myself and I expect you to respect me too.” 

Image of Meghan Markle, Copyright: Rightful owner

Back before she became “The Duchess of Sussex…

…via “The Tig” which is her former lifestyle website, Meghan Markle was a well-known Fashionista & Beauty Enthusiast.

Meghan is so stylish that she has even been a guest fashion expert on TV.

“Throwing on a black dress with black tights, cute booties, a great coat and throw a scarf over it. I think simple accessories and if you want to make a pop, a great red lip.” ~ Meghan Markle

Meghan Markle was even a talented fashion designer, having helped design 2 fabulous capsule fashion collections for the Canadian retailer Reitmans.

How did Meghan Markle do all of this and more along with being a regular on a hit TV series all before becoming a Royal?

“You have to take care of yourself so you can manage the workload of a very, very full plate.” ~ Meghan Markle

Exactly.

First and foremost you must become a Selfcaretaker of both your inner and outer self.

Leading a purposeful and highly productive life requires LOTS of hard work, stamina, intelligence, dedication and creativity….

…..and you have to be balanced and healthy physically, mentally and emotionally to do it.

And as then actress Meghan Markle also proved…

…Self Care = Looking Your Stylish Best 🙂

“I went to a fitting at Miu Miu and it was my first time realizing that clothes can be so transformative. Putting on this outfit was like drinking a glass of Champagne, I was so giddy and excited.” ~ Meghan Markle

“…my first time realizing that clothes can be so transformative.”

My point exactly 🙂

It’s very important to understand that the image you present to the world via what you wear and how you style yourself is your own personal billboard telling the world exactly how you feel about you.

“When we get up in the morning, what we put on is very much a reflection of how we see the world and how we want it to see us.” ~ Kenneth Cole

“… a reflection of how we see the world and how we want it to see us.”

Indeed it is.

Whether we like it or not, how we look instantly and without one word spoken translates how people will view us, particularly people who we first meet.

This is critical because if we wish to accomplish much in the world like Meghan has and will continue do as the Duchess of Sussex….

….the outer image which we choose to present to the world can be one of our greatest assets.

Your individual fashion style tells an instant and silent story about YOU…

…and it communicates volumes not only to those you meet, but also to YOURSELF.

For this reason, a well styled appearance can be an instant self esteem builder.

Your image and style can communicate strength or weakness, bold or timid, authority or passivity, confidence or insecurity, can do or can’t do, fierce or bland, etc.

The question is what exactly is it that you wish to project?

Who do you want the world to see you as being?

Here’s how it works:

Looking your BEST will make you FEEL your best….

…and when you feel your best, you feel BETTER about yourself…

….and when you feel better about yourself, you project more effortless and easy  CONFIDENCE….

…..and when you project more confidence, DOORS WILL OPEN for you.

Case in point:

“What accounts for this gender gap? It comes down to one word: confidence. Studies consistently show that while their actual performances did not differ in quality, men consistently overestimated their abilities and subsequent performance, and women routinely underestimated both. This lack of confidence is devastating to our careers. We don’t consider ourselves qualified for our current jobs or promotions, we predict we will do poorly when faced with challenges, we hesitate before making key decisions, and we believe we don’t deserve job advancement or greater compensation. What begins as self-doubt quickly becomes self-sabotage.

Succeeding in the business world requires more than competence. Our efforts to demonstrate that we deserve promotion, compensation, and success based on merit have been misguided because confidence trumps competence.” ~ Ladders.com – November 2018

“Confidence trumps competence”

Exactly and this is one reason why so many talent-challenged people get so ahead in life, because their self confidence is leading the way.

Yes, things are still heavily tilted in favor of men, even if they are less qualified, but that is no reason or excuse for women to simply bow to that reality which many women have.

And there really is no liability whatsoever to having more self confidence and more self esteem.

In fact, it can only improve your life for the better in every aspect.

It’s really that simple, and here’s the thing…

In these volatile and extremely challenging times, we need every single asset we can muster in our life arsenal today more than ever, and this is particularly true of women.

Whatever positive thing we can do to give ourselves an advantage in this tough and competitive world is necessary, and one of the easiest things we can do is to up our style game.

“Every day, we all make the critical decision of what we’re going to wear, because many of the people we encounter in a day don’t get to know anything more about us than how we present ourselves. That decision – totally on our own terms – is a powerful one.” ~ Kenneth Cole

YES, that decision is extremely powerful.

It’s very important for every high standard and purpose-driven woman (and man) to recognize that embracing their own individual style via looking their best can give them tremendous confidence and self-esteem which can potentially make them more powerful in relation to being more effective in their professional, private, and overall life, as well as in doing more good and being more impactful for others.

A woman (and man) can be so much more effective in their profession, humanitarian work and personal lives, if they set a HIGH BAR for how they choose to present themselves to the outside world.

In short, a well-styled woman is an authoritative and formidable woman.

Images of Meghan Markle, Copyright: All rightful owners

And the same goes for a well-styled man 🙂

*Image of President Barack Obama, Copyright: Rightful owner

“Know who you are then adorn yourself accordingly.” ~ Epictetus, Greek Philosopher, (50 AD – 135 AD)

This is why I am such a fan of Meghan Markle’s pre-Duchess street style because it spoke volumes about how she felt about herself and it unconsciously commanded respect from others even when it was ultra casual:

Images of Meghan Markle, Copyright: All Rightful owners

“I think so much of what we learn when we get older is being comfortable in our own skin and learning what looks good, and not being so trend-centric.” ~ Meghan Markle

Outfit, coat, shoes, handbag, hat, scarf, sunglasses, hair, makeup, skin, etc…..

…her entire LOOK is so polished and so well put together even when casual.

“Throwing on a black dress with black tights, cute booties, a great coat and throw a scarf over it. I think simple accessories and if you want to make a pop, a great red lip.” ~ Then actress Meghan Markle’s fashion advice

Yes, Meghan is also a glamourous and beautiful woman…

…but just use your imagination to imagine a more average looking woman styled in one of Meghan’s outfits above…

…and I’ll bet you can very easily imagine that less glamourous woman still looking very stylish, standing out from the crowd, and commanding attention as she walked into a room or walked down the street as I’m sure Meghan most certainly often did. 🙂

“Beauty is being comfortable and confident in your own skin.” ~ Iman

Of course I am well aware that there are times when we don’t want to standout in a crowd or command attention.

Sometimes we want to dress in a very low key or non-stylish manner which is totally okay and fine. 

My case is to not make that low key and non-stylish manner your overall persona…

….particularly if you have a difficult time feeling self confidant, feeling self love, or if you have low self esteem. 

Just remember…

….the #1 person you should be seeking to uplift, encourage, and impress is YOU.

The many other benefits you will receive from looking your stylish BEST will be gravy or part of the overflow of good that will suddenly come into every area of your life once you upgrade your style game 🙂

Back to Meghan….

…in a totally unpretentious way, Meghan Markle actually looked like she believed she is worthy of attracting any man she wanted to attract…

…so is it any wonder that she ended up attracting the most sought after bachelor in the world at the time and a Prince on top of it?

That’s POWER 🙂

“With fame comes opportunity, but in my opinion, it also includes responsibility – to advocate and share, to focus less on glass slippers and more on pushing through glass ceilings and, if I’m lucky enough, then to inspire.” ~ Meghan Markle

Here’s the thing:

Meghan Markle had spent so many years honing and perfecting her street style game and becoming comfortable stepping outside of her home and into any space she walked into looking stylish, well-groomed and well put together from head to toe…

….that once she met and married Prince Harry, her street style game as the Duchess of Sussex was totally on point and a role she was able to step into with ease, confidence, and with not a bit of awkwardness.

Images of Duchess Meghan and the Duke & Duchess of Sussex, Copyright: All Rightful owners

*Update: To prove that her street-style game is still intact…

…following is a pic of Duchess Meghan in May 2023 in Southern California where she now lives with Prince Harry and their two children Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet as she stylishly goes about her day.

Image the Duchess of Sussex out shopping, Copyright: Rightful owner

That’s what living your life at a much higher level, both inside and outside, can do for you and can attract, ladies. 🙂

“Set high standards and few limitations for yourself.” ~ Anthony J. D’Angelo

Women who live with the intention to empower both their inner and outer selves…

…inspire feelings like the song in the following video in the men lucky enough to love them and be loved by them.

Sting – “She Walks This Earth.”

“For 32 years I’d watched a conveyor-belt of faces pass by and only a handful ever made me look twice. This woman stopped the conveyor-belt. This woman smashed the conveyor-belt to bits. I’d never seen anyone so beautiful.” ~ Prince Harry on first time seeing Meghan in his record-breaking memoir “Spare”

“When did I know she was ‘The One?’ The very first time we met.” ~ Prince Harry in 2017

Image of the Duke & Duchess of Sussex, Copyright: Rightful owner

“We’re in love. I’m sure there will be a time when we will have to come forward and present ourselves and have stories to tell, but I hope what people will understand is that this is our time. This is for us. It’s part of what makes it so special, that it’s just ours. But we’re happy. Personally, I love a great love story.” ~ Meghan Markle in Vanity Fair Magazine in 2017

Back to the song “She Walks This Earth.”

“She’s a soulful flower in the garden.”

Interestingly Meghan Markle’s nickname since she was a little girl is “flower.”

Here is quote from then actress Meghan Markle as featured in a 2016 issue of Best Health Magazine:

“Yoga is my thing. My mom is a yoga instructor, and I started doing mommy-and-me yoga with her when I was seven. I was very resistant as a kid, but she said, “Flower, you will find your practice – just give it time.” In college, I started doing it more regularly.”

Interviewer: Is “Flower” a nickname from your mom?

Markle: “Did I say that? How funny. Yes, my mom calls me “Flower.” She has always called me “Flower.” It’s really funny because I don’t even think about it when I’m describing how we chat.” ~ Meghan Markle – Best Health Magazine – (2016)

Meghan Markle in a Yoga pose

Image of Meghan Markle in a yoga pose, Copyright: Rightful owner

What could be more beautiful and affirming than a little girl having “flower” as a nickname? 🙂

Fast forward to 2022 when Meghan is now the Duchess of Sussex:

“My mom still calls me Flower. I’ll be a 41-year-old Flower. That’s fine.” ~ Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex on her award-winning and wildly popular Spotify podcast “Archetypes” which has 10 million listeners world-wide and knocked Joe Rogan out of the #1 podcast spot when it was first released.

Very obviously Meghan Markle was parented by her mom Doria Ragland in a powerfully uplifting and self-affirming way which does indeed make a difference…

…but Selfcaretaker.com is all about providing the tools, resources and products to enable you to uplift, empower, and affirm yourself if that’s not something you were taught to do as a child.

Meghan & Mom

Image of Meghan Markle and Doria Ragland, Copyright: Rightful owner

“Meghan’s nickname in the family was Flower. She was always sunny and had a lovely disposition. The camera loved her from the start.” ~ Joseph Johnson (Meghan’s uncle)

Some more of the lyrics from the beautiful song “She Walks This Earth.”

“She’s a soulful flower in the garden

She’s bobbing in the sunlight

And flirting with her eyes

The way she walks by I see a wave of colour

Moving like an angel

Trailing butterflies

Give me water

Give me inspiration

I want to speak now, but I can’t find a word

So unforgiving is my infatuation

Now that I know she walks upon the Earth

She walks this Earth

I am restless and burning with desire

And every other heartbeat I beat just for her

I see her smiling

Full is my emotion

This is no illusion

But how can I be heard?”

~ Lyrics from Ivan Lins’ beautiful song “She Walks This Earth” performed by Sting 

Image of Meghan Markle, Copyright: Rightful owner

“If we give our children sound self-love, they will be able to deal with whatever life puts before them.” ~ Bell Hooks

About Meghan Markle’s mom Doria Ragland’s powerfully uplifting and self-affirming parenting of her daughter:

“If you tend to a flower, it will bloom, no matter how many weeds surround it.” ~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Tend (to): to apply oneself to the care of; watch over; to have or take charge of as a caretaker or overseer” ~ Merriam Webster Dictionary

Hence why it is extremely important for us to “tend to” ourselves via becoming selfcaretakers.

Once we do, we can BLOOM no matter the weeds and the adversity that may surround us or no matter what may be going on in the outside world 🙂

“A flower blooming in the desert proves to the world that adversity, no matter how great, can be overcome.” ~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Coincidentally, there is also a flower named after Duchess Meghan:

“It’s Meghan Markle – in full bloom!

The Royal Horticultural Society has named a pink-purple clematis flower after the Duchess of Sussex. Known as the clematis Meghan, the lovely plant flowers twice a year – both in the spring or early summer…”

“The flowers are a rich and opulent magenta-purple, so they will really make an impact when planted in borders or larger pots,” according to the Royal Horticultural Society.” ~ People Magazine – February 2019

Clematis Meghan

*Photo from RHS PLANTS via People Magazine

“A rose can never be a sunflower, and a sunflower can never be a rose. All flowers are beautiful in their own way, and that’s like women too.” ~ Miranda Kerr

Indeed we are….

…..and when we “tend to” our outer image,

….we become like the classic R & B song by Debarge called “I Like It” 🙂

R & B Group Debarge – “I Like It” 

“She was wearing a black sweater, jeans, heels. I knew nothing about clothes, but I knew she was chic.” ~ Excerpt from Prince Harry’s record breaking memoir “Spare” about his first date with Meghan

“I like the way you comb your hair
And I like those stylish clothes you wear
It’s just the little things you do
That show how much you really care
Like when I’m all alone with you
You know exactly what to do
You put that fire inside of me
And make it more than just a dream”
~ Lyrics from the classic Debarge song “I Like It.”

Now that’s what’s REAL, ladies and gents 🙂

“I will not be another flower, picked for my beauty and left to die. I will be wild, difficult to find, and impossible to forget.” ~ Erin Van Vuren

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“Fashions fade, style is eternal.” ~ Yves Saint Laurent

Continuing onward….

…a woman who is authentically a “Selfcaretaker” doesn’t need nor desire to post “thirst traps” on social media to get tons of “likes” nor does she need to dress overtly provocatively when she walks out of her home in an attempt to try to garner wolf whistles or attention to gratify her ego, to mask her insecurity, or to make herself feel more wanted.

Her stylishly well put together and confident presence makes her stand out in a crowd and command attention without even trying to.

“A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.” ~ Coco Chanel

As I’m sure you’ve noticed, I’m a very strong advocate of women and men looking their BEST when they present themselves to the outside world, however the focus at the moment is on my fellow women.

When you step out of the house well-groomed, looking stylish or polished, or looking good or well put together…

…you likely will feel confident, feel good, and you will likely feel more that you are worthy, valued, and deserve to be respected.

This is not about being drop dead gorgeous.

It’s about presenting an image to the world which says I care about myself, I love myself, I respect myself….

….and I expect you to treat me the same way.

“Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” ~ Rachel Zoe

It says I choose to meet a HIGH BAR for myself and this is not only projected via your image or appearance, it’s also projected in all areas of your life…in love, in career, and in your everyday life.

“We are how we see ourselves and we attract those who are on our same level.” ~ Pam Jones

You’re basically raising your own bar across the board.

You are raising your game…

…and once you do that, your entire life game will be raised…

…and the quality of people you attract into your life will also be raised.

“Keep your heels, head and standards high.” ~ Marilyn Monroe

Just looking your stylish best will change perceptions and better let the world know who you are and how you expect to be treated…

….but the most important person who will perceive you differently and treat you better is YOU.

“Never dull your shine for somebody else.” ~ Tyra Banks

Many women hide their light under a bushel or play down their looks and femininity because of feelings of low self-worth, low self-esteem, a fear of not being taken seriously in their profession, a fear of sexual harassment, or because of past traumatic experiences.

“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.” ~ Maya Angelou

Many women believe they don’t have the capability to be attractive because someone or society has told them to not even try.

Here’s the thing:

EVERYONE can look their best.

EVERYONE can work to become better every day.

EVERYONE can raise their own bar.

Which brings me back to…

Meghan Markle – More Than Just An Actress

Image of then actress Meghan Markle, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

“In a society that profits from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.” ~ A quote that was posted on then actress and entrepreneur Meghan Markle’s Instagram account for her former website “The Tig”

Years ago, I developed a keen interest in first Meghan Markle, the actress who was dating Prince Harry…

Image of then actress Meghan Markle, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

…and my interest only deepened once Meghan Markle became the Duchess of Sussex.

 

Image of the Duchess of Sussex, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

In fact I was so fascinated by her that I wrote an article for the website Meghanpedia in 2019 titled “How Meghan Markle Loved Herself Like Royalty Long Before Becoming A Duchess” which is linked here.

If Selfcaretaker.com has a main “Selfcaretaker muse” that person would be Meghan Markle, the actress, businesswoman, and humanitarian…

Image of then actress Meghan Markle, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

…and Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex.

Image of the Duchess of Sussex, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

Muse: a person or personified force who is the source of inspiration for a creative artist. ~ Google Dictionary

I separate Meghan Markle, the actress, business woman and humanitarian from when she married into the oldest monarchy on earth, because who Meghan was before

…is why she now has the official titles Princess Henry of Wales…

Image of the Duchess of Sussex, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

…and Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex.

Image of the Duchess of Sussex, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

It all has to do with how Meghan has treated and cared for herself from DAY ONE.

“She’s not necessarily a princess, but she’s carried herself on that level from Day One.” ~ Tom Markle, (Meghan’s half brother)

“…she’s carried herself on that level.”

“That level” is very important.

Artist Rendering of Duchess Meghan, Artist Unknown

Before she became the Duchess of Sussex, the media and many others portrayed Meghan Markle as nothing more than an actress, and the historical record proves this could not be any further from the truth.

We unfortunately still struggle in Western society to encourage young women to be different or interesting, to excel, to be smart, to be ambitious, to be passionate, to be creative, to develop our many natural talents, to strive to do worthwhile things in life and in the world, or to just be and become MORE.

Which of course brings me back to Meghan Markle aka the Duchess of Sussex.

Image of Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

Case in point:

Town & Country – December 2017 – Meghan Markle Is the Most Googled Actor of 2017

International The News – November 2019 – Duchess Meghan Named 2019’s Most Powerful Fashion Icon

Marie Claire UK – December 2021 – Meghan Markle Just Beat the Queen to Win the Title of “World’s Most Influential Royal”

Fast forward to 2023:

Recently, TIME Magazine released the results of it’s 2023 Readers Poll where more than 1.2 million people from around the world voted for who they consider to be the most influential people on the planet.

Topping that list at #1 was the Bollywood actor Shah Rukh Khan which isn’t surprising considering the fact that Khan is from India where he is wildly popular…

…and India has approximately 1.4 billion residents which would account for a lot of votes.

Second place on TIME’s 2023 Readers Poll went to a very righteous and very deserving group of nameless women:

The Iranian Women protesting for greater freedoms from their country’s Islamic regime.

Third place on TIME’s 2023 Readers Poll went to the equally deserving and dedicated workers in an industry which spans the world:

Health Care Workers.

And tied in fourth place on the 2023 TIME Magazine Readers Poll was Harry and Meghan aka the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

Keep in mind that this was a global readers poll which drew more than 1.2 million responses from people from around the world…

…and in addition to Bollywood actor Shah Rukh Khan who hails from a country with 1.4 billion residents…

….Harry and Meghan aka the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, in terms of individual people, (since both Harry and Meghan tied in the number of votes they each received)…

…were the second choice for the most influential individuals of more than 1.2 million people from around the world.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

You have to admit that’s pretty impressive 🙂

Prince Harry has always been well-known and wildly popular since the day he was born…

…but Meghan Markle has only come into the consciousness of the world within the last few years since she first began dating Prince Harry in 2016. 

How did Meghan Markle aka the Duchess of Sussex capture the world’s attention and admiration so quickly to the point of now arguably being…

…the most fascinating and most influential woman in the world?

Image of The Duchess of Sussex, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.” ~ From Maya Angelou’s iconic poem “Still I Rise”

As you have likely already noticed, I give multiple theories for the reason why I believe Duchess Meghan is so fascinating on this very web page….

…but the key caveat I also make clear is that Meghan lived a fascinating, productive, and inspiring life before she met and married Prince Harry.

A Role Model for the 21st Century Woman:

Meghan Markle before she became the Duchess of Sussex

Image of Meghan Markle, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

This is one reason why I very much believe Duchess Meghan so intrinsically resonates with so many countless millions of people, (and women in particular) from all over the world right now…

…because I believe she is modeling a new way of being and living in the world for many.

Image of Meghan Markle, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

Meghan Markle so very obviously decided to be so much more than the average woman…

….and part of not being average is in the way she has cared for herself on a mental, emotional and physical level, in addition to the outer image she has chosen to present to the world.

In fact, from my own personal research of her life…

….I would label Meghan a Renaissance Woman.

Renaissance Woman/Man: a person with many talents or areas of knowledge. ~ Google Dictionary

Speaking of having many talents…

…did you know that before she made it big acting, Meghan Markle was a Calligraphy Expert who taught Calligraphy classes at Paper Source in Los Angeles to help pay her bills?

“It was her (Meghan Markle’s) part-time job as she was going through auditions. She taught calligraphy and hosted a group of customers and instructed them during a two-hour class on how to do calligraphy.” ~ Paper Source CEO, Winnie Park via People Magazine

Following are a couple of linked articles on this topic:

Vanity Fair – August 2019 – Meghan Markle’s Calligraphy Is Still Perfect

Vogue Magazine – December 2018 – Wow, Meghan Markle Has Gorgeous Handwriting

Image of Meghan Markle, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

“The Duchess is known to be a skilled calligrapher. She picked up the hobby during handwriting classes in Catholic school, she told Esquire in 2013. She also did calligraphy to support her early acting career. Some of her big gigs included Paula Patton and Robin Thicke’s wedding invitations and Dolce & Gabbana’s celebrity correspondences.

“I would sit there with a little white tube sock on my hand so no hand oils got on the card, trying to pay my bills while auditioning,” she told Esquire. “I’m glad that in the land of no one seeming to appreciate a handwritten note anymore that I can try to keep that alive.” ~ Harper’s Bazaar article titled “Meghan Markle’s Handwriting Is Insanely Perfect” – December 2018

Meghan also worked as a freelance calligrapher, landing some pretty well known clients.

“In addition to her job at Paper Source, she (Meghan) also worked as a freelance calligrapher, writing the invitations for Robin Thicke and Paula Patton’s wedding in 2005.” ~ People Magazine – March 2018

“I just thought Meghan did a beautiful job. It really is a lost art.” ~ Actress Paula Patton on Meghan Markle doing the Calligraphy for her and Pop Star Robin Thicke’s wedding invitations (via Town & Country Magazine)

Here’s the thing:

When you deem yourself worthy, have high self esteem and self confidence, and when you authentically LOVE YOURSELF…

….you will have the ability to be highly aspirational, you will strive to excel, and you will refuse to put any limits on your own vision, abilities, and capabilities.

Why is it a big deal that Meghan Markle has captured the heart of Prince Harry, who was once the most eligible and most sought after bachelor on the planet?

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

Meghan Markle is from the U.S…

…at the time she met Prince Harry she was a successful actress…

…she comes from a broken home after her parents separated when she was two and divorced a few years later…

…Meghan herself was married before and is divorced…

…she is three years older than Prince Harry…

….Meghan was 35 years old when she and Harry first met…

…and Meghan is a Bi-racial woman of color, (half black and half white).

Each of these things on their own could have been seen as a serious liability against Meghan in terms of her marrying the son of the future King of England….

….yet here she is. 🙂

“My life has changed because my access has changed, and so has the level of privacy in my life, but these are champagne problems because I wouldn’t rather be back auditioning. And change can be really good – as long as your character is intact.” ~ Then actress Meghan Markle

Character – the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual. ~ Oxford Languages

Character is something that isn’t talked about enough in this social media age where appearances rule…

…but a focus on cultivating a good, strong, ethical and purposeful character is what truly makes a notable man or woman SHINE.

#MeghanSparkles

*Image courtesy of Artist Taxi Driver via Twitter

“Who you are as a person will only be amplified once you are ‘famous,’ so if you had a good heart, then I would imagine you’ll have the same good heart, but the means to do even more with it.” ~ Then actress Meghan Markle

I truly believe that every young woman needs a role model…

….particularly if she seeks to always set high standards for herself…

…if she dreams BIG or has BIG dreams…

…if she has HIGH aspirations and goals for her life…

…and if she needs constant inspiration which is something most aspiring, goal-oriented, and ambitious women need.

“On the show [Suits] people see me in $5000 Tom Ford skirts, but that’s not what I have in my closet at home. I never want to lose touch with reality. I won’t push $100 candles just because. I realized that I could create a hub of positivity and affirmation.” ~ Then actress Meghan Markle on the motivation for creating her empowering lifestyle website “The Tig”

Following is a re-post of a public letter which then actress, businesswoman and humanitarian Meghan Markle wrote to the followers of her highly popular former lifestyle website The Tig.

Meghan also wrote the letter for her Instagram followers on her 33rd birthday in 2014, two years before her whole life changed when she met Prince Harry.

Here is the full content of Meghan’s illuminating 2014 letter to her hundreds of thousands of website and Instagram followers:

“I am 33 years old today. And I am happy. And I say that so plainly because, well, it takes time. To be happy. To figure out how to be kind to yourself. To not just choose that happiness, but to feel it.

My 20s were brutal – a constant battle with myself, judging my weight, my style, my desire to be as cool/as hip/as smart/as “whatever” as everyone else. My teens were even worse – grappling with how to fit in, and what that even meant.

My high school had cliques; the black girls and white girls, the Filipino and the Latina girls. Being bi-racial, I fell somewhere in between. So everyday during lunch, I busied myself with meetings – French Club, student body, whatever I could possibly do between noon and 1 pm – I was there. Not so that I was more involved, but so that I wouldn’t have to eat alone.

I must have been 24 when a casting director looked at me during an audition and said “You need to know that you’re enough. Less makeup, more Meghan.”

You need to know that you’re enough. A mantra that has now ingrained itself so deeply within me that not a day goes by without hearing it chime in my head.

That five pounds lost won’t make you happier, that more make up won’t make you prettier, that now iconic saying from Jerry Maguire – “You complete me” – frankly, isn’t true.

You are complete with or without a partner. You are enough just as you are.

So for my birthday, here’s what I would like as a gift. I want you to be kind to yourself. I want you to stop gossiping, to try a food that scares you, to buy a coffee for someone just because, to tell someone you love them….and then to tell yourself right back.

I want you to find your happiness. I did. And it’s never felt so good. I am enough. M.M.”

From Meghan Markle’s former website The Tig, (2014)

Image of Meghan Markle courtesy of Life & Beyond, Copyright: Rightful owner

Where to begin 🙂

I wanted to post the content of Meghan Markle’s public letter to her hundreds of thousands of website and Instagram followers in 2014 first and foremost because I think so many teens whatever the gender, people in their 20s and 30s, and even some people who are in their 40s and 50s need to know that getting to that space called “happy” is a process and most times like in Meghan Markle’s case….

….it can be a years long journey.

I’m sure than many people reading Meghan’s words in that 2014 letter to her “The Tig” website visitors and Instagram fans could see themselves in those poignant and meaningful words.

Meghan didn’t start out as the supremely confident, successful and talented woman that she was when she first came to the world’s attention via dating Prince Harry.

Just like many of us was…

Meghan Markle was an unhappy, awkward, lonely, insecure, teen and young adult who did not fit in.

Because of this, Meghan had to do a lot of self healing work and self care over many years to evolve into the extremely confident, much admired and very accomplished woman she was before she even met and began dating the most sought after bachelor in the world.

Here is then actress, businesswoman and humanitarian Meghan Markle’s highly inspiring speech before a packed audience filled with global dignitaries at the United Nations in NYC in 2015

….which was a year before she met Prince Harry:

Fast Forward just three years later to 2018 when Meghan now as the Duchess of Sussex gave a brief yet powerful speech in Sydney, Australia on behalf of the highly successful Invictus Games which were founded by her new husband Harry, the Duke of Sussex.

“Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.” ~ Alexander Graham Bell

Duchess Meghan was obviously very well prepared for this golden opportunity.

*More on the power of preparation coming up 🙂

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Back to Meghan…

“My parents always told me if I believed something was wrong, I should try to fix it.” ~ Meghan Markle

Long before meeting and marrying Prince Harry…

…Meghan Markle tried to “fix” serious problems via doing important humanitarian work as a World Vision Global Ambassador.

“There is a myth that those who do humanitarian work have a savior mentality, but the relationship is reciprocal.” ~ Meghan Markle

Following are links to 3 brief yet awesome videos which feature her important work in Rwanda for World Vision:

1) Meghan for World Vision #1

“I started working at a soup kitchen in Skid Row of Los Angeles when I was 13 years old, and the first day, I felt really scared. I was young, and it was rough and raw down there, and though I was with a great volunteer group, I just felt overwhelmed.” ~ Meghan Markle

2) Meghan for World Vision #2

“I’m consistently asked how I keep a foot in two contrasting worlds – one in the entertainment industry, predicated on wealth and indulgence, and the other in humanitarian work. To me, it’s less of a question of how can you do this, and more a question of how can you not?” ~ Meghan Markle

3) Meghan for World Vision #3

“Lara Dewar from World Vision in Canada went to India with Meghan and told Sky News: “What made her very unique was how educated she already was on the issues, she wasn’t joining or jumping on a bandwagon, she wasn’t doing it because it somehow benefited her profile, in fact she made it very clear that she knew she had a little bit of influence and wanted to use her platform to better the lives of others.” ~ Yahoo News UK – December 2017

“I think there’s a misconception that access to clean water is just about clean drinking water; which, of course, it is but it’s so much more than that. Access to clean water in a community keeps young girls in school, because they aren’t walking hours each day to source water for their families. It allows women to invest in their own businesses and community. It promotes grassroots leadership, and, of course, it reinforces the health and wellness of children and adults. Every single piece of it is so interconnected, and clean water, this one life source, is the key to it all.” ~ Meghan Markle

Please Donate to World Vision here

“While my life shifts from refugee camps to red carpets, I choose them both because these worlds can, in fact, coexist. And for me, they must.” ~ Meghan Markle

Pre-Duchess Meghan Markle obviously had a very intentional life plan long before she met Prince Harry and married into Britain’s royal family…

….and she was living that life plan confidently and purposefully.

“A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success.” ~ Dr. Joyce Brothers

But the KEY is you have to work at achieving that positive self image, both inside and outside.

When you do….

MIRACLES can happen 🙂 

“…and then once I got to know her even more, my head then told me she’s absolutely perfect for the role as well. When it came to Meghan, that was I guess the case of finding a needle in a haystack.” ~ Prince Harry from the tweeted video above from Harry and Meghan’s Netflix series

“Finding a needle in a haystack” – something (or someone) that is impossible or extremely difficult to find. ~ Cambridge Dictionary

It looks like Prince Harry finally found his “That Girl.” 🙂

That Girl – Stevie Wonder – (1981)

“She was wearing a black sweater, jeans, heels. I knew nothing about clothes, but I knew she was chic. I’d seen so many photos of her from fashion shoots and TV sets, all glam and glossy, but here she was, in the flesh, no frills, no filter… and even more beautiful. Heart-attack beautiful. I was trying to process this, struggling to understand what was happening to my circulatory and nervous systems, and as a result my brain couldn’t handle any more data. Conversation, pleasantries, the Queen’s English, all became a challenge.” ~ Excerpt from Prince Harry’s record breaking memoir “Spare” about his first date with Meghan

*Interestingly, according to Wikipedia, “That Girl” was recorded and released in 1981, the same year Meghan Markle was born.

The Duke & Duchess of Sussex dancing at their wedding reception 🙂

*Image of Harry and Meghan dancing at their wedding reception. Image from their Netflix series. Copyright: Rightful owner

In his Guinness world record breaking memoir “Spare” Harry, the Duke of Sussex calls his wife Meghan, “Captain Of My Soul.” 🙂

*Image of Harry and Meghan kissing from Harry’s record breaking memoir “Spare.” Copyright: Rightful owner

“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect. And it’s these things I’d believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn’t all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald (about his wife Zelda)

As was the case with young Meghan, I firmly believe that a major antidote to all of the chaos, instability and devolution around us is to RAISE OUR OWN GAME. 

If the focus is on improving oneself on a daily basis, what is going on in the outside world becomes less of a burden and stress on us…

…and maybe one day we will up level ourselves so much that we can feel that we can become PART OF THE SOLUTION to society’s problems in our own unique way.

What’s unfathomable to us now becomes less and less so the more we work on healing and up leveling ourselves while caring for ourselves in the process.

“There is only one corner of the Universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” ~ Aldous Huxley

Going back to Meghan being Harry’s “needle in a haystack”….

….what’s important to note is how prepared and ready Meghan was for her shining global spotlight long before she had a clue that she would one day have a HUGE global platform to speak and work from as a member of the world’s oldest and most well-known Royal monarchy.

“I will prepare and some day my chance will come.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Prepare: to make or get something or someone ready for something that will happen in the future. ~ Cambridge Dictionary

When people say “You create your reality” this is basically what they mean.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

Exactly and more people should realize that preparation helps us to create the person that we desire to be.

“I am a woman who came from the cotton fields of the South. From there I was promoted to the washtub. From there I was promoted to the cook kitchen. And from there I promoted myself into the business of manufacturing hair goods and preparations.” ~ Madam C. J. Walker

Madam C.J. Walker was born in 1867, just 2 years after slavery was abolished.

*Madam C. J. Walker was an African American entrepreneur, philanthropist, and political and social activist.

She is recorded as the first female self-made millionaire of any race in America in the Guinness Book of World Records. 

Madam C. J. Walker

“I got my start by giving myself a start.” ~ Madam C. J. Walker

Madam Walker very obviously worked hard on preparing herself to create the reality she wished to live…

….in spite of being born just two years after slavery was abolished, and despite American society designating her only being worthy of picking cotton, washing clothes, or cooking for others.

Here’s the thing:

Preparing yourself for what you desire to achieve in life helps you to create that desired reality.

“Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation, there is sure to be failure.” ~ Confucius

Think to yourself…

…how many opportunities have I already missed in life because of a failure to prepare?

“Unfortunately, there seems to be far more opportunity out there than ability. We should remember that good fortune often happens when opportunity meets with preparation.” ~ Thomas A. Edison

Here’s another thing:

When we prepare for our moment, our moment will eventually come.

But you have to prepare.

You have to ready yourself.

You have to do the self healing work.

You have to take care of yourself.

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex’s flawless delivery at the 2018 Invictus Games ceremony and her being so ready and prepared to meet that exciting yet daunting opportunity watched by countless millions around the world…

….was only possible with past years of diligent, focused, unnoticed and totally unglamorous behind the scenes preparation via working on her speaking and presentation skills along with her self healing work to eliminate any fears and feelings of low self esteem and self doubt, while also engaging routinely in self care.

In my opinion, Duchess Meghan is a perfect example of….

….Preparation + Opportunity = SUCCESS

#TheDuchessofSuccess may be a more appropriate title for her 🙂

“There is no short cut to achievement. Life requires thorough preparation.” ~ George Washington Carver

YES. The legendary George Washington Carver was 100% correct….

….so why isn’t every American, male or female, being taught this truth?

There is even academic research which proves how effective preparation can be:

“The University of Michigan conducted research showing that taking just a few minutes to prepare for a challenging situation mentally can improve performance and increase the chances of success. The research suggests that even small amounts of preparation can have a significant impact on outcomes.” ~ Everyday Power

What if more people began preparing for what they wished to achieve or for who they wished to become in life?

“Practice who you want to be every single day.” ~ Michelle Obama

Single and searching?

What if more people stopped searching and instead focused on developing self love and self worth and on preparing themselves for being the kind of person who could attract the kind of person they desire to attract in life like Meghan Markle so obviously did?

“It’s not a bad thing to demand that everyone that comes into your life meet you at your worth. And I ain’t talking money.” ~ Tyler Perry

“Meet you at your worth.”

The question is what do you feel is your worth…

….because whatever it is, that is who or what you’re going to attract.

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ~ Stephen Chbosky

I have always loved the following quote from the legendary boxer Muhammed Ali:

“I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.” ~ Muhammad Ali

In other words, the legendary and “the greatest” boxer Muhammad Ali did what is typically called “fake it until you make it.”

But Ali didn’t just call himself “the greatest” and do nothing else.

He prepared by working on and practicing his craft relentlessly until he really became “the greatest” boxer.

“One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” ~ Arthur Ashe

Very obviously from the letter she wrote to her website followers in 2014, Meghan Markle had severe issues with low self worth, low self confidence, low self esteem, difficulty making friends, etc. from high school into her twenties.

“My 20s were brutal – a constant battle with myself, judging my weight, my style, my desire to be as cool/as hip/as smart/as “whatever” as everyone else. My teens were even worse – grappling with how to fit in, and what that even meant.” ~ Meghan Markle (2014)

To go from that reality to a 180 degree different reality isn’t something that happened overnight for Meghan…

…but with years of diligent work on her persona and craft in addition to self healing work and self care, it did eventually happen.

Why not join her? 🙂

“If you prepare yourself at every point as well as you can, you will be able to grasp the opportunity for broader experience when it appears.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Meghan Markle very obviously sees a major part of her life path to include using her voice and whatever platform she has at the time towards working to inspire, empower and uplift WOMEN while looking her stylish best.

“You can be a woman who wants to look good and still stand up for the equality of women.” ~ Meghan Markle, Create & Cultivate 2016 conference keynote speech

Here is an excerpt from another post from her former website “The Tig” from 2015:

“It’s been close to one year since UN Women reached out to me after I wrote candidly about my musings on women’s independence, here on The Tig.

Since then I have traveled to DC, shadowed at the UN Headquarters in New York, given a speech for International Women’s Day that left my heart palpitating, and traveled to Rwanda as a part of my learning mission to meet with female leaders on the grass roots level, as well as at parliament.

And now, we find ourselves launching the first PSA from the organization. As the UN Women Advocate for Political Participation & Leadership, I am proud to be behind a mission that empowers women to make their voices stronger, their influence bolder, and their support of one another unsurpassable.

With women at the helm, we not only help the female population, but the population as a whole – men, women, children. We all win.” ~ Meghan Markle in a 2015 post on her former website “The Tig” introducing the following PSA from UN Women.

“It’s not just about girls going to school and becoming smart girls — it’s knowing that those smart girls become influential women, and that ends up changing the world for the better.” ~ Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, International Women’s Day 2019 Fast

Forward to 2023

…and Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex is now using her much bigger global platform to advance women empowerment and receiving prestigious awards for her efforts 🙂

 “A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman, but a beautiful woman with a brain is an absolutely lethal combination.” ~ Prabal Gurung, renowned Fashion Designer

Indeed.

News Flash: Just being beautiful simply isn’t enough anymore ladies, particularly in the 21st Century.

Beauty/Stylish + Brains + A Life That Inspires & Helps Others = The Total Package

The caveat is to live at that higher level of being requires lots and lots of preparation that is grounded in self healing work and self care.

Just like Meghan Markle eventually did…

…we have to diligently work our way from feeling “Not good enough” to feeling “I AM ENOUGH.”

As Meghan’s testimonial to her followers in 2014 reveals, staying the course on that difficult journey can eventually lead to the happiness in life that we all seek…

…but remember Meghan declared she had found her happiness two years before she met and fell in love with Prince Harry 🙂

Image of Harry & Meghan, Copyright: Rightful owner

“It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit.” ~ Eartha Kitt

For example, Meghan Markle wrote the following words on her former website “The Tig” on Valentine’s Day in 2015…

….more than a year before she met and fell in love with Prince Harry:

“I think you need to be your own Valentine. I think you need to cook that beautiful dinner even when it’s just you, wear your favorite outfit, buy yourself some flowers, and celebrate the self love that often gets muddled when we focus on what we don’t have.

Last season I was chatting with my Suits sister wives, Sarah and Gina, and was in some sort of funk, bemoaning something that was so futile I don’t even remember what it was now. But I was faaaaaar from showing the self love.

One of them stopped me – truth be told I can’t remember which one because they both impart their sage wisdom with me on the daily – but one of the stylish wise ones stopped me and said, “Hey! That’s my friend you’re talking about. Be nice to her.”

They were protecting me from myself. From my own criticism, and my own self doubt. They were reminding me to treat myself as well as I treat those closest to me. To be my own valentine.

This Valentine’s Day I will be with friends, running amock through the streets of New York, likely imbibing some cocktail that’s oddly pink, and jumping over icy mounds in my new shoes through the salted snowy streets of the West Village.

But those shoes, by the way, were my gift to myself. Because I’ve worked hard, because I’m not going to wait for someone to buy me the things I covet (nor do I want to), and because I want to treat myself as well as I treat those dearest to me.

Because I am my own funny Valentine.

So whether you have a special someone, you’ll be with friends, or you’ll be flying solo this Saturday (or any other day for that matter), be good to yourself. Love yourself, treat yourself, honor yourself and celebrate you.

Be your own beautiful, darling, cherished and funny Valentine. You deserve it.” ~ Meghan Markle from her former website “The Tig”February 13, 2015 via the “The Tig Archives” on the website Meghanpedia

*Here is the pic Meghan Markle shared with that 2015 post 🙂

Image of Meghan Markle from “The Tig”, Copyright: Rightful owner

*It should be noted that Meghan Markle was almost 35 years old when she wrote that Valentine’s Day post…

….which means she was far from stressing out about being almost 35 and still single as so many single women are told to do by society today.

“To find a happy ending with someone else, first you have to find it alone.” ~ Soman Chainani, The Last Ever After

And Meghan Markle was most definitely happy as the hundreds of thousands of admirers who followed her routine writings and musings on her lucrative lifestyle website “The Tig” can attest to.

“I’ve never wanted to be a lady who lunches – I’ve always wanted to be a woman who works.” ~ Meghan Markle

The following image is a collage of just a few of the many pics Meghan Markle posted on “The Tig’s” Instagram page of her living the extremely happy life that she had worked very hard to create for herself.

“Cheers to frolicking, and revelry, to badass ladies & gents who inspire change, to finding the beauty in the unexpected, to sharing ideas, supporting the silliness, eating delicious food, living a life of wanderlust, and taking it all in. Cheers to an inspired lifestyle.” ~ Meghan Markle quote from her website The Tig

“Cheers to an inspired lifestyle.”

Don’t we all want to live an inspired life or lifestyle?

Here’s the thing:

That can only happen if the focus is on intentionally creating an inspired life.

I believe that is why America’s founding fathers coined the term “the pursuit of happiness.”

Because they knew that happiness wasn’t a given.

“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” ~ Jim Rohn

America’s founders knew that happiness is something you have to pursue and be intentional about finding and having in your life now.

“Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future.” ~ Earl Nightingale

That advice from the legendary Earl Nightingale is very true and it’s also very important. 

We tend to attract at whatever level we are vibrating at, so a sure way to attract more happiness into your life is to find things to BE HAPPY about NOW.

And a very easy way to do that is by tapping into GRATITUDE.

Focus on your many blessings and what you have to be grateful for versus what you feel is missing or going wrong in your life.

A good way to begin doing this is by keeping a Gratitude Journal.

At the end of each day, write down at least 5 things that you are grateful that happened to you that day, even if it’s something as seemingly simple as feeling healthy, eating a favorite meal, or receiving a kind compliment.

This daily practice will enable us to begin a habit of focusing our thoughts on the positive in our lives rather than on the negative, and when we do this, we will not only become happier, the world will become bigger as will our perception of our place within it.

You can simply buy a notebook at a Dollar store to begin your gratitude journaling TODAY…

…but for those who want to go much deeper in their journaling experience while achieving their goals and dreams faster, the following resource will help you greatly:

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The following quote deserves a re-post:

“It’s not enough to just survive something, right? That’s not the point of life. You’ve got to thrive, you’ve got to feel happy.” ~ Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex

Case in point:

Before Meghan Markle gave up her lifestyle website “The Tig” she was also a successful  entrepreneur and businesswoman, just one more talent in the long list of talents which Renaissance Woman Meghan has.

An article excerpt:

“As well as the acting, Meghan has her own lifestyle brand called The Tig which covers everything from food to fashion and beauty to interviews with inspirational women including Serena Williams and Cat Deeley.

“I wanted to create a space to share all of these loves, to invite friends to share theirs as well, and to be the breeding ground for ideas & excitement … for an inspired lifestyle.”

The site is ad-free and aims to provide inspiration at affordable prices.” ~ Marie Claire – November 2016

Starting a business while having a full-time acting career on a hit TV series undoubtedly required lots of planning, focus, preparation, confidence…

…and most importantly lots of physical, mental, and emotional self care.

Meghan had to juggle her full-time acting gig on the TV series Suits and make sure that she continued to do her best there…

….all while working to make a success of her website business “The Tig.”

That is most definitely not easy, and when you consider everything else Meghan Markle was doing in her life at that time, it becomes even more difficult and tricky. 

This is why self care on every level is KEY.

“I think the biggest part of being a girl boss in the office, at home, or anywhere you go is just knowing your value.” ~ Meghan Markle

As a result of creating multiple streams of income for herself because she knew her value and her worth

….Meghan Markle had achieved the status of self made multi-millionaire before she decided to leave the inspired, successful, and happy life she had created for herself on her own to marry a real-life version of Prince Charming.

Artist Rendering of Harry & Meghan, Artist Unknown

“I dream pretty big, but truly had no idea my life could be this awesome. I am the luckiest girl in the world, without question!” ~ Then actress Meghan Markle

To re-cap…

Meghan Markle was a regular lead on the highly successful TV series “Suits”….

….she was an entrepreneur having created her highly popular website “The Tig” which was earning her a lucrative income…

….she was a spokesperson for and even co-designed a clothing line for the Canadian retailer Reitmans

…all of her acting and business ventures had made her a self made multi-millionaire….

…and she was busy doing humanitarian work via working and traveling in an official capacity with the United Nations and also with World Vision.

….all while traveling the world during her off time, while residing in her beautiful Toronto home and while hanging out with her many friends.

How did Meghan Markle accomplish so much including many accomplishments not even listed on this web page before meeting and marrying the love of her life and becoming the Duchess of Sussex?

My opinion? 

The answer is Self Love, Self Confidence, Work Ethic and Vision meets Self Care.

The following quote from Meghan which I posted earlier deserves an encore:

“You have to take care of yourself so you can manage the workload of a very, very full plate.” ~ Meghan Markle

Exactly.

While she was “Living single over 30″…

…Meghan Markle had created a very happy, successful, purposeful, fun and fulfilling life for herself which she lived on her own terms.

That requires LOTS of hard work, energy, intelligence, dedication and creativity to live a life of vision, purpose and high expectations for yourself….

…..and being a Selfcaretaker will help you to be more balanced, more productive, and much healthier physically, mentally and emotionally to help you to do it.

And again as Meghan also proves…

….Self Care = Looking Your Stylish Best.

Image of Meghan Markle. Copyright: Rightful owner

“An understanding that comes with living your life to the fullest so that it bursts at the seams. An unbridled joy. An insatiable curiosity. That’s what Tig means to me.” ~ Meghan Markle in 2014 explaining the meaning of her lifestyle website “The Tig.”

“…living your life to the fullest so that it bursts at the seams. An unbridled joy. An insatiable curiosity.”

When you choose to live your life on that joyful, inspiring, stylish, self loving and self caring higher level…

….the world truly opens up and expands in terms of what incredible possibilities may lay ahead for you.

“What’s next for me career-wise is really exciting because it could be anything. Kind of feels like the world is my oyster.” ~ Then actress Meghan Markle in 2014

*That could have only been said by a woman who knows she is prepared and ready for whatever amazing opportunity that comes her way.

“If you paint in your mind a picture of bright and happy expectations, you put yourself into a condition conducive to your goal.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

Fast forward from 2014 to just a few years later in 2018:

No more Valentine’s Days alone for Meghan now…

….but the point is she was living a successful, happy and fulfilled life before she finally met “The One.” 🙂

Now we know why Prince Harry said during their televised engagement interview that when he first met Meghan, he immediately knew he had to “up his game.”

“But what no one is saying amidst the patronizing headlines about “the luckiest girl in the world,” her “fairy tale come true” and the predictable “real-life Cinderella” nonsense, is that Markle is the ultimate anti-Cinderella. Instead of good-naturedly lamenting her humble beginnings and poor treatment by a stepsister by praying for a fairy godmother and a hot rich man, Markle stayed sane, got an education from a world-class university, worked her ass off, created an online magazine as well as a huge social following and, despite the odds and the “Deal or No Deal” briefcases she had to tote along the way, became a working actress — amassing her own $5 million fortune. She, unlike the passive Cinderella, changed her fate all by herself years before she’d met Harry.

In actuality, in these modern times, Prince Harry, even though he has a genuine hereditary title not bought off the Internet, is the one marrying up — not her.” ~ New York Post – April 2018

Indeed. This is a woman who had no privilege, no inherited wealth, no status, no connections, no third base, no rich parents, no connections.

Meghan had absolutely nothing handed to her.

Yes Meghan Markle is beautiful and talented, but so are countless other women.

In my opinion what made Meghan different, or as Prince Harry called her “a needle in a haystack” is her obvious intelligence, her authentic compassion, the admirable, unique, and very real substance underneath her beauty….

….and finally her tremendous level of PREPARATION.

That level of preparation is only achieved via years of self healing work in concert with lots of self care.

Most importantly, Meghan Markle worked relentlessly at learning to love herself…

…so much so that far from bemoaning or freaking out about not being married or not being in a relationship at 35….

….she instead learned to value, to deeply love, and to cherish her own independence.

Following is an excerpt from an article Meghan Markle wrote on her website “The Tig” in 2016 titled “The Art of Independence.”

“I was about 20 years old when I first saw a movie in the theater by myself. It was “Forces of Nature” with Sandra Bullock. And there I was, tucked away in the quiet (and now defunct) Fairfax Theater in my hometown of LA, watching a movie about natural disasters and feeling something being unearthed within myself. It was scary and unfamiliar, yet grounding and absolutely invigorating. And from an optics perspective it seems so silly – because you’re simply watching a movie by yourself (as we often do at home) – but to experience this in public unnerved me, which is why I had to do it. To laugh loudly and unapologetically alone while in public. To simply be. With that said, there are so many important things you should do for yourself – to flex your independence and allow yourself the opportunity for greater growth. After all, they say happiness begins with self-love. And enjoying your own company is the very best start for that adventure.” ~ Excerpt from Meghan Markle’s 2016 posting on her website “The Tig” titled “The Art of Independence”

*Then actress Meghan Markle and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau talk at One Young World Summit in Ottawa, Canada in 2016. (Images from James Chau/ Instagram)

“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.” ~ Mohadesa Najumi

This quote from the above excerpt from Meghan’s article “The Art of Independence:”

“…they say happiness begins with self-love. And enjoying your own company is the very best start for that adventure.”

It seems that self love is an excellent love magnet 🙂

Image by Samir Hussein/Getty Images

“Don’t forget to love yourself.”  ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Attention Ladies, particularly Ladies over 30: 

Please stop listening to those who claim attracting true love or achieving success after a certain age can’t be done, and begin carving your own unique path to inspired living and happiness, whatever that looks like for you.

Case in point:

After creating a pioneering empire that made her the first female self-made billionaire in the United States…

….in 2004, Martha Stewart hit rock bottom and had to totally reinvent herself and her career after spending time in prison for allegedly illegally trading stock, something that wealthy men routinely do but rarely ever go to prison for.

Fast Forward to 2023:

“I thought, if I’m feeling good enough physically and mentally to do such a thing, I’m up for it.” ~ Martha Stewart in the New York Times – (May 2023)

“For me it is a testament to good living, and I think that all of us should think about good living, successful living, and not about aging.” ~ Martha Stewart

There is getting older and there is aging, and aging is what tends to happen when we don’t relentlessly take care of ourselves. 

“On my 50th birthday in 2005, my discount-wielding AARP card came in the mail. I hurled it in the trash, put on something fabulous, and had a decadent meal. Just the thought of putting it in my wallet felt like a concession.” ~ Iman

And I want to make it clear that I am not talking about what many women and men typically do to stave off aging aka botox, face lifts, injections, plastic surgery, microdermabrasion, etc.

Nothing against any of that, but the ultimate goal is to relentlessly take care of our physical, mental and emotional well-being, so that your outside will eventually reflect your inside. 

Being diligent about relentlessly caring for and working on healing all aspects of your inside while being the most stylish version of yourself you can be…

…..will make you GLOW on the outside. 

My guess?

Martha Stewart is most definitely a Selfcaretaker 🙂

“The ultimate goal is to be an interesting, useful, wholesome person. If you’re successful on top of that, then you’re way ahead of everybody.” ~ Martha Stewart

Back to Meghan Markle

…if you are a woman who is past a certain age and your desire is to meet “The One” or to meet your future real deal partner…

….you just may meet your significant other while on the same self caring, self loving, highly useful and productive “living my best life” path that Meghan Markle was on before she met Prince Harry.

“The day you settle for less is the day you will get less.” ~ Iman

Fun Fact: Supermodel Iman met her forever soulmate the Rock legend David Bowie when she was also 35. 

“My attraction to her was immediate and all-encompassing. I couldn’t sleep for the excitement of our first date. That she would be my wife, in my head, was a done deal. I’d never gone after anything with such passion in all my life. I just knew she was the one.” ~ David Bowie to Hello! Magazine about his wife Iman in 2000 (per Us Magazine)

Keep in mind…

….this is the same man who more than a decade earlier recorded a hit song all about not believing in “modern love.” 🙂

David Bowie – Modern Love – (1983)

Fast Forward almost a decade later:

David Bowie and Iman (Photo by Ron Galella/Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images)

“All men can and will change. But there’s only one woman we’re going to change for.” ~ Steve Harvey

This brings me to the excellent advice Iman has for today’s woman:

“Intelligence is sexy. Don’t play dumb, especially young girls. Don’t play dumb. And let people see that you are intelligent.” ~ Iman

It’s important to understand that no woman who authentically loves, values, respects, and cares for herself would ever love a man who she couldn’t express the depth and the fullness of her entire being to, which would of course, include her intelligence.

To the contrary…

….rather than stifling her intelligence or any other aspect of a woman who truly loves, values, and cares for herself…

…she wants you to be have enough depth within to teach her how deep love can be.

Case in point:

Sade – Cherish the Day – Live in San Diego – (1993)

“Show me how deep love can be.” ~ Sade

“That girl knows every single man would ask her for her hand,

but she says her love is much too deep for them to understand.” ~ Lyric from Stevie Wonder’s classic song “That Girl.”

The following quote was posted by Meghan Markle on her former website “The Tig.”

“I must be a mermaid, I have no fear of depth and a great fear of shallow living.” ~ Anais Nin

“…a great fear of shallow living.”

This is precisely why so many women and men who tend to be very deep, very intelligent, and very passionate individuals typically don’t find their one true love until after 35 or later in life. 

Many people simply do not understand them and these deep and passionate ones really don’t want to waste their time and would rather wait until they meet and fall in love with someone who understands them and who is on their same level.

Yes, DEPTH and being able to go DEEP into the unknown and unexplored is a trademark of an authentic Selfcaretaker which means their life’s focus is on their inner self as well as their outer self.

There is absolutely nothing that is shallow or superficial about an authentic Selfcaretaker…

…and that also means that their ability to love and be passionate also has depth or goes deep. 🙂

Back to David & Iman…

“In 1990, Iman met the English musician David Bowie on a surprise blind date set up by a friend in Los Angeles. The friend was hairdresser Teddy Antolin, who invited Iman to a party. When she arrived at the restaurant, there were only four attendees: Antolin, Antolin’s boyfriend, Iman, and Bowie. At the end of the evening, Bowie offered to drive her home, and she said: “No, I’m going to drive my car.” He invited her to tea the next day and Iman learned he did not drink tea. They went to a nearby coffee shop. Bowie named his 1991 instrumental piece “Abdulmajid” after her, which was later converted into a symphony by Philip Glass.” ~ Source: Wikipedia

Rock icon David Bowie loved his supermodel wife, who is also a successful Cosmetics company founder and CEO (Iman Cosmetics), a fashion designer (Global Chic), an avid philanthropist, (Children’s Defense Fund, Save the Children, Keep a Child Alive, CARE, etc.), and also fluent in six languages Iman’s intelligence, her depth, her passion, her ambition, how deeply she loves, how deeply she cares for others, and everything else about his wife of almost 24 years until the day he died.

“I stumbled onto bliss. And I have no intention of finding my way back out. I’m frighteningly happy.” ~ David Bowie on his life with Iman to NY Daily News in 2002 (per Us Magazine)

Another excellent couple example is Amal & George Clooney.

Image of George and Amal Clooney, Copyright: Rightful owner

“Amal, whatever alchemy it is that brought us together, I couldn’t be more proud to be your husband.” ~ George Clooney

Amal Clooney said at 35 years old, she had resigned herself to be a “spinster” which is an old school term for a woman who never marries.

So she focused on building a happy and fulfilled personal life along with a highly successful legal career as a widely acclaimed and respected Human Rights Attorney….

…but then a mutual friend introduced her to George Clooney.

“People say that true love finds its way to you, but the adage is rarely as literal as it turned out to be for George and Amal. The couple met at the actor’s Lake Como home in July of 2013, when a mutual friend stopped by while en route to Cannes with Amal in tow. In an equally fateful twist, the star’s parents were also visiting him at the time, so Amal was introduced to the Clooney family on the same day she met her now husband.” ~ Town & Country Magazine

In an excellent example of Opportunity Meeting Preparedness

…a mutual friend of George and Amal’s played matchmaker as he *spontaneously* dropped by George’s house with Amal as George Clooney relays in the following excerpt:

“Well, it’s funny, she came to the house in Como with a friend of hers to visit,” he said, revealing that his agent was the one who played matchmaker.

Before visiting George at his home: “He called me up and said, ‘There’s a girl coming to your house that you’re going to marry,’ and I said, ‘You’re an idiot, that’s not going to happen.'”

However, things turned out for the better, as Amal ended up being someone George immediately hit it off with.

“And then comes Amal, and we stayed up all night talking. And I started writing her a bunch of letters,” he lovingly revealed.” ~ Hello Magazine (2022) 

The matchmaker’s “match” turned out to be a match made in heaven 🙂

“Once one of the most eligible bachelors in the world, George Clooney is not afraid to admit that meeting and marrying his now-wife Amal Clooney made him want to completely and fundamentally change his life.”

“I was like, ‘I’m never getting married. I’m not gonna have kids,’” Clooney started, adding he was content with his life and bachelor-era after his 1993 divorce from Talia Balsam.

“I’m gonna work, I’ve got great friends, my life is full, I’m doing well,” he said of his mindset at the time. “And I didn’t know how un-full it was until I met Amal. And then everything changed. And I was like, ‘Oh, actually, this has been a huge empty space.’”

Clooney said that marriage changed him “because I’d never been in the position where someone else’s life was infinitely more important to me than my own.” ~ Grazia Magazine

The moral to this story?

Treat yourself with the love, care, and the importance you deserve, and you just may attract someone who will also treat you on that higher level or in the same way.

Image of George and Amal Clooney, Copyright: Rightful owner

“I met George when I was 35 and starting to become quite resigned to the idea that I was going to be a spinster. Then we met and started hiding out in my London flat and very soon it felt like, no matter what happened, I would never want to be with anyone else.” ~ Amal Clooney at the AFI Awards in 2018

*Please check out the extraordinary speech Amal Clooney gave to honor her husband George Clooney receiving the AFI Life Achievement Award in 2018 at this link.

Focus on loving yourself and making yourself happy and your healthy and happy self love glow could be a great partner magnet 🙂

“I have someone who I can talk to about anything and someone who I care more about than I’ve cared about anybody.” ~ George Clooney regarding his wife Amal

And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that Amal Clooney also had and still has a killer street style game.

Images of Amal Clooney, Copyright: All Rightful owners

“I knew when I met her that she was so extraordinary and special. And then I wondered if I’d ever get a chance to date her.” ~ George Clooney regarding his wife Amal

Cue the song “She Walks This Earth” again 🙂

I want to make it clear ladies that cultivating and enhancing your style and outer image is not about looking like a beauty queen or a fashion model….

….its about raising your own bar to be the BEST version of YOU possible, both inside and outside.

“Elegance is not standing out, but being remembered.” ~ Giorgio Armani

To put it simply….

Stylish Femininity + Brains/Intellect + Confidence = POWER

So…

…a woman of Style or a woman of Substance?

Answer: A Selfcaretaker Woman is equally BOTH.

“She’s stunning and has a great sense of style — there’s no stylist or anything, she just comes out like that and she shows up and she looks stunning. “And she does it while she’s got 11 cases going — literally. So she’s an amazing woman.” ~ George Clooney regarding his Human Rights lawyer wife Amal

Indeed she is 🙂

“If you are a lawyer, and you want to take on easier cases, you can prosecute traffic violations or something. You’d have a very high rate of success, and you probably could sleep more easily at night. But that’s not what drives me.” ~ Amal Clooney

*For those who have never seen Amal Clooney in action as a Human Rights attorney…

…please do yourselves a favor and watch an excellent example of preparation meeting opportunity when Amal Clooney used her first time ever speaking before the United Nations in 2017 to publicly criticize the UN on behalf of her then client, genocide and serial rape survivor and Iraqi Yazidi human rights activist Nadia Murad.

“I remember all the stages in my career where I almost didn’t have enough confidence to try for something, almost didn’t have the guts to follow something I was excited about doing, because I didn’t know anyone else who’d done it, or other people made me question it.” ~ Amal Clooney

In my opinion, Amal Clooney very obviously did a lot of self healing work and engaged in a lot of self care to help her to drop her fears, doubts and insecurities as the following linked video featuring her first ever talk before the United Nations so clearly shows.

“I have always believed that fashion was not only to make women more beautiful, but also to reassure them, give them confidence.” ~ Yves Saint Laurent

I also believe Amal’s stylish appearance during her first time ever speaking before the United Nations gave her tremendous confidence and made her talk all the more riveting and effective as she took the UN to task for it’s failure to act.

If Amal was nervous…

……her well styled appearance may have helped her to shield it.

Check out the riveting video on You Tube titled “Amal Clooney Criticizes World Response to Yazidi Genocide.”

“People don’t choose to become a refugee, they’re just victims of war and they are victims of circumstance. They were born in the wrong place at the wrong time, and I think how we respond to that is a test of our humanity.” ~ Amal Clooney

This is something that Amal Clooney knows personally and intrinsically as a former refugee.

(Photo by Eamonn M. McCormack/Getty Images)

“If I had not had a hand extended to me by the UK government when my family was escaping the war in Lebanon, I wouldn’t have been able to grow up in a safe environment, get the education I have, or do any of the things that I have done.” ~ Amal Clooney

Arab News – June 2018‘I am a refugee,’ Amal Clooney tells Toronto audience

How much did Amal Clooney’s uplifting and passionate advocacy on behalf of Nadia Murad help Nadia?

Amal Clooney’s courageous, fierce, passionate, and compassionate advocacy and spotlight on her behalf in 2016 before the UN

….helped Nadia Murad to win the Nobel Peace Prize in 2018. 

Nadia Murad, 2018 Nobel Peace Prize Recipient

PARIS, FRANCE – OCTOBER 25: Nobel Peace Prize winner Nadia Murad poses after a meeting with French president Emmanuel Macron (not seen) at the Elysee Palace in Paris, France on October 25, 2018. (Photo by Mustafa Yalcin/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images)

Nadia Murad shared the 2018 Nobel Peace Prize with Denis Mukwege “for their efforts to end the use of sexual violence as a weapon of war and armed conflict.”

I would also like to note that in addition to Nadia Murad being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2018….

…Nadia released her must read memoir in 2017 titled The Last Girl: My Story of Captivity, and My Fight Against the Islamic State.”

Nadia Murad now works to help women and children who are victims of abuse and human trafficking as the founder of Nadia’s Initiative.

Nadia Murad and Alma Clooney are also working together to bring ISIS to justice and tried for the unspeakable war crimes and horrific genocide it has committed….

…..as this linked and incredibly moving October 2019 report on the news show 60 Minutes details.

“I want to be the last girl in the world with a story like mine.” ~ Nadia Murad

And to prove light and love can be found after the most unimaginable, the most unspeakable, and the most unfathomable darkness…

…Nadia married fellow Yazidi human rights activist, former interpreter for the U.S. Army, and Co-founder of Nadia’s Initiative, Abid Shamdeen in 2018.

Images of Nadia Murad & Abid Shamdeen, Copyright: All rightful owners

“Fight to make your vision of tomorrow a reality today. And, along the way, surround yourself with people who bring you joy.” ~ Nadia Murad

In my opinion, Nadia Murad is a shining example and 100% proof that although extremely difficult and challenging, we can begin the journey of eventually evolving and moving beyond our traumatic experiences, no matter how devastating, unimaginable, and horrific they may be.

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” ~ Carl Jung

Nadia Murad also proves that we can even use the highly tragic and unfortunate experiences gained from our tremendous sorrow and horrific traumas to help to heal and save others in addition to helping to prevent more people from being victimized.

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ~ Maya Angelou

If you are a victim or a survivor of any form of sexual and/or physical abuse, (and this also includes male abuse victims)…

…please know that you survived whatever horrific things that were done to you or whatever unimaginable nightmares you may have been through for a reason.

If you are a survivor of any form of violence or abuse and don’t yet have a support system, please immediately begin by supporting yourself by becoming a Selfcaretaker.

The reason why I include multiple highly effective 100% Free tools and resources throughout this intro page with instructions on how to utilize them…

….is so that anyone who chooses to become a Selfcaretaker can begin to do so today, with no obstacles in regard to cost preventing them from doing so. 

It’s also the reason why Selfcaretaker.com includes literally hundreds of tools, resources and products within this website to enable anyone who seeks to heed the heart-felt and revolutionary advice given on this intro web page…

…whether you are seeking to heal your inner self via caring for your physical, mental or emotional health with the dozens of tools, resources, and products included within Selfcaretaker.com to help you to do so….

…or if you are also choosing to upgrade and uplevel your outer self via improving your feelings of self confidence and self worth by upping your style game via the endless number of choices provided within Selfcaretaker.com to help you to do just that from fashion/wardrobe to skincare to haircare and everything else in between.

And again please don’t worry if you don’t have a support system in place yet.

Once you begin your self healing Selfcaretaker journey…

….your world will open up, you will attract more good into your life, and your support system will eventually come. 🙂

But first you have to become a Selfcaretaker which is ultimately about YOU finally making yourself a priority and putting yourself first by taking total and complete responsibility for your inner and outer self care and well-being.

“All those things that you’re worried about are not important. You’re going to be OK. Better than OK. You’re going to be great. Spend less time tearing yourself apart, worrying if you’re good enough. You are good enough. And you’re going to meet amazing people in your life who will help you and love you.” ~ Reese Witherspoon, actress, producer, businesswoman

Becoming a Selfcaretaker means that you slowly but surely begin to create a brand new world for yourself…

…a world beyond the pain, grief, heartache, insecurity, abuse, trauma, cruelty, etc. that you may currently live in or that you may have survived….

…a world built around recognizing your own inner and sacred truth aka the REAL YOU

….so you can begin to live more authentically and live happier with a lot more inner peace. 🙂

“Deciding to be honest was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made, and also the most important.” ~ Nadia Murad

Nadia’s complete and unvarnished honesty, and also her life’s work via Nadia’s Initiative is helping a countless number of women in the same circumstances, or who have lived through similar circumstances from all over the world.

Bravo Nadia 🙂

Nadia’s Initiative is dedicated to “helping women and children victimized by genocides, mass atrocities, and human trafficking to heal and rebuild their lives and communities”

Please click here to support Nadia’s Initiative.

“As women, there is a bond we all share. It’s not a bond of geography or culture, but of shared experience. There are struggles that only women face. The worst thing we can do as women is not stand up for each other.” ~ Amal Clooney

Circling back to Duchess Meghan….

“We were very quietly dating for about six months before it became news…the only thing that changed was people’s perceptions. Nothing about me changed. I’m still the same person that I am, and I’ve never defined myself by my relationship.” ~ Meghan Markle in Vanity Fair Magazine

I’m reminded of what Meghan Markle wrote in 2014 in that letter to her tens of thousands of website followers:

“…that now iconic saying from Jerry Maguire – “You complete me” – frankly, isn’t true. You are complete with or without a partner. You are enough just as you are.”

“You alone are enough, you have nothing to prove to anybody.” ~ Dr. Maya Angelou

That’s the power of Self Love, but I’m not going to lie…

….that level of self love takes time and it definitely won’t be easy.

Especially if it’s past trauma you are trying to heal. 

“Self love, self respect, self worth… there is a reason they all start with ‘self’. You can’t find them in anyone else.” ~ Dr. Anne Brown

Feeling that we are “enough” or “good enough” can most times be a slow, tedious, and sometimes even a painful journey of healing all the trauma we have experienced and deprogramming all the lies we believe or have been told about ourselves.

“The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.” ~ Maya Angelou

That journey is often also filled with mistakes, more traumas, obstacles, road blocks, setbacks, and some experiences that we wish we had never ever experienced.

Some of those experiences may be our own fault because we were immature or because we didn’t know any better at the time.

Some of those experiences may have happened to us through no fault of our own.

Maybe we weren’t that popular in school.

Maybe we have been victims of bullying of some kind.

Maybe we have spent a big part of our lives being lonely or with few friends and/or supporters.

Maybe we feel guilt or shame because of our addictions, even if we are now free from them.

Maybe we have made mistakes that we wish we had never made.

Maybe our marriage or relationship broke up or didn’t work out.

Maybe we have hurt people we love which we fervently wish we could take back.

Maybe we regret allowing ourselves to be treated badly by a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Maybe we didn’t get the best grades or excel in school or didn’t go to college like we wanted to.

Maybe we are dealing with guilt or shame because of something we did that we regret or because of something that was done to us that we are blaming ourselves for.

Maybe we have spent most of our lives impoverished or living paycheck to paycheck.

Maybe we had a neglectful, uninterested, or abusive parent/s or guardian/s.

Maybe we have been victims of some form of traumatic abuse inside or outside of our families, whether it is physical, sexual or mental abuse.

The possibilities are unfortunately truly endless in terms of “what happened to us” in regard to what we have a difficult time letting go of or moving beyond.

“It took many years of vomiting up all the filth I’d been taught about myself, and half-believed, before I was able to walk on the earth as though I had a right to be here.” ~ James Baldwin

Whatever the case or your experience may be…

….whatever has happened to us, we can RISE above our experiences because our traumatic or negative experiences thus far in life will only define us if we allow them to.

“I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.” ~ Maya Angelou

For example…

…I was very moved recently while watching the following snippet of an interview former actress now talk show host Drew Barrymore did with actors Jason Ritter and Melanie Lynskey.

 “Maybe we feel guilt or shame because of our addictions, even if we are now free from them.”

“You can’t build joy on a feeling of self-loathing.” ~ Ram Dass

It’s important to understand that every person who has reached adulthood on this planet has done at least one thing in their lives that they are ashamed of.

Of course the spectrum of these shames can go from minor to major to everything in between, but the end result in regard to the feelings spawned by whatever our actions were are the same….

….Shame.

It’s very hard to feel worthy, deserving, or accepting of anything good in our lives when we are still living with guilt or shame because of our past mistakes or bad choices.

“Shame is a soul eating emotion.” ~ Carl Jung

It’s important to know that whatever difficulty or challenge that you may be going through right now…

….it’s just NOW meaning that it does not have to be your future.

What happened in the past is now PAST.

“Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough.” ~ Brene Brown

Yes, on the more extreme end of the shame spectrum, you may be still dealing with the ramifications of your past behavior or actions via broken trust, hurt feelings, lingering pain, damaged relationships, etc…

…and the regret and remorse you feel from your past choices, your past mistakes, and the people you may have hurt, betrayed, not stuck up for, etc. can be extremely hard to live with…

…but if you make a commitment to yourself to learn, grow, and evolve from your past mistakes and remain diligent in preparing yourself by doing the necessary self healing and self care…

….one day you will forgive yourself enough to begin feeling that you are indeed worthy and deserving of happiness in your life.

Why?

Because one day you will realize you have LEARNED from your mistake, you have EVOLVED, you have changed for the BETTER, and therefore you are not that same person anymore.

“I love the person I’ve become because I fought to become her.” ~ Kaci Diane

In reality you stopped being that same person the very first day you made your genuine commitment to your daily self healing and self care…..

…but the self healing work and self care is what will help to facilitate that realization.

“True self-care is not bath salts and chocolate cake, it’s making the choice to build a life you don’t need to escape from.” ~ Brianna Wiest

The self healing and self care will eventually reveal your new evolved self to YOU.

“Choose, everyday, to forgive yourself. You are human, flawed, and most of all worthy of love.” ~ Alison Malee

And for the millions of people who were hurt, abused, traumatized, bullied, etc. as innocent children and teens….

…I dedicate the following song to you.

Madonna – Oh Father – (1989)

“Written and produced by Madonna and Patrick Leonard, the nexus of “Oh Father” was the presence of male authoritative figures in Madonna’s life, most prominently her father, Tony Ciccone. Madonna’s relationship with her father had soured after her mother’s death in 1963 and his remarriage three years later.”

“I had to deal with the loss of my mother and then had to deal with the guilt of her being gone and then I had to deal with the loss of my father when he married my stepmother. So I was just one angry abandoned girl. I’m still angry. The part of me that goes around saying “Fuck you! Fuck you!” is the part that’s covering up the part that’s saying “I’m hurt!” I guess all of this came through in the video.” ~ Madonna commenting on making the “Oh Father” music videoSource: Wikipedia

“Maybe someday, when I look back I’ll be able to say You didn’t mean to be cruel, somebody hurt you too”…. That line hits home in so many ways… break generational curses” ~ A comment left on that powerful music video

*I highly suggest reading the comments section of that video.

The comments are so moving, poignant and profound.

“Maybe someday, when I look back I’ll be able to say You didn’t mean to be cruel, somebody hurt you too”

I personally think that is one of the most profound truths ever recorded in a song lyric.

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Bravo Madonna 🙂

“I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art.” ~ Madonna

We break generational patterns and generational curses by learning to love ourselves because if we don’t, it will inhibit our ability to perceive, receive or give healthy and authentic love to present and future generations.

It’s really that simple. Not easy, but simple.

“Life is a balance of giving and taking, but don’t give away your power. Don’t sacrifice your own happiness for others. Prioritize your needs. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary. You deserve love and respect, and only when you care for yourself can you care for others.” ~ Eldar Israfilli

We simply must love and care for ourselves before we can ever authentically love and care for others.

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” ~ Brene Brown

Here’s the thing:

The past only lasts forever if we resign ourselves to our lives never changing, and it must be realized that resignation is a CHOICE.

We have to have HOPE.

We have to have OPTIMISM.

We have to have FAITH, most of all faith in OURSELVES.

We have to PREPARE OURSELVES for the lives we want to live and that preparation begins with daily self care and self healing work.

“Preparation for life is so important. Luck is what happens when preparedness meets opportunity. Opportunity is all around us. Are you prepared?” ~ Earl Nightingale

Selfcaretaker.com is all about doing that preparation and daily self care and self healing work on ourselves to get to whatever place you wish to be in your life.

That work entails healing both our inner and our outer selves….

…and ultimately getting to a place called SELF LOVE.

Meghan Markle, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

“The one deep down inside yourself who you courageously uncover, is the one you will one day love more than any other.” ~ Pam Jones

Self Love is the KEY 🙂

“When you find the beloved inside of you, you will find your beloved beside you.”~ Alan Cohen

In addition to Self Love, please remember these 6 words…

Become Who You Want To Attract

If you want a mate who is loving, you become more loving to yourself and others.

If you want a mate who is caring, you become more caring to yourself and others.

If you want a mate who takes care of him or herself, you begin to take better care of yourself.

If you want a mate who is smart, you work to become smarter and wiser every day.

If you want a mate who has a successful career or profession, you work on becoming a success in your own career or profession.

If you want a mate who has integrity, you become a person of integrity….and so on and so on.

Become whomever you want or desire to attract….

….because LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE.

“The more I am able to love myself, the more I am able to love others and be loved in return, because I attract and resonate with who I am and with how I feel about myself.” ~ Pam Jones

That’s really the way life works, ladies and gents.

Even physics has proven we are all energy and our energy only attracts those whom we are in energetic resonance with.

“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.” ~ Albert Einstein

Think about it…

…any person who has spent time doing the years of self care and self healing work which was required to better themselves into becoming the person in all of the above examples…

…will most definitely not settle for less from the person they are seeking to attract into their lives.

They will most definitely be looking for someone, but most importantly, they will be attracting someone who is on their same level.

So if you don’t like who or what you are attracting in life…

…you have to raise your own vibration or raise your own bar…

…and this is what self care and self healing aka what becoming a Selfcaretaker helps you to do 🙂

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” ~ Maya Angelou

But fulfilling that mission can only happen with SELF LOVE.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” ~ Lucille Ball

Self Love is the KEY to so many problems, issues, and ills in life.

“I’m all about body positivity and self-love because I believe that we can save the world if we first save ourselves.” ~ Lizzo

Every personal negative trait which afflicts so many people all over the world from; low self-esteem, insecurity, jealousy, low self-confidence, lack of self-respect, attracting abusive or low character mates, eating disorders, low expectations for themselves, settling for much less than they deserve, and I could go on and on….

….stems from a lack of SELF LOVE.

There are many reasons for this, and those reasons are all individual to each person.

Many of those reasons may stem from painful past experiences or even from childhood…

…but it’s something which simply must be addressed if you truly wish to live the happy, inspired, and worthy life that you were born to live.

“My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.” ~ Anaïs Nin

Women in particular need to see that there is absolutely nothing wrong with putting yourself up on a pedestal and having HIGH standards for yourself.

“Every small positive change we make in ourselves repays us in confidence in the future.” ~ Alice Walker

The truth is how you authentically view and feel about yourself will either elevate or lower the view most others have of you.

Why?

We tend to attract those who are in alignment with how we view or think of ourselves.

It’s the Law of Quantum Physics aka Like Attracts Like.

Meghan Markle, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

“If we treated ourselves as well as we treated our best friend, can you imagine?” ~ Meghan Markle

Here is a great example of what treating yourself and truly loving and valuing yourself looks like from then actress Meghan Markle:

Following is a great quote from an interview that I stumbled upon from Meghan from 2015:

“I’ve always coveted the Cartier French Tank watch. When I found out Suits had been picked up for our third season – which, at the time, felt like such a milestone – I totally splurged and bought the two-tone version. I had it engraved on the back, ‘To M.M. From M.M.’ and I plan to give it to my daughter one day. That’s what makes pieces special, the connection you have to them.” ~ Then actress Meghan Markle in interview with Hello! Magazine in 2015

A couple of things struck me about this 2015 quote from Meghan.

First, she wasn’t waiting around for a man to buy her the watch of her dreams.

Meghan Markle deemed herself worthy and gifted the Cartier watch to herself, as a personal reward for a career milestone which I’m sure she worked very hard to achieve.

Second, Meghan had her watch engraved “To M.M. From M.M.” to commemorate this special gift to herself…

…the same way a lover would have done if the gift had been given to her by a lover.

Actually the Cartier watch was indeed given to Meghan by a lover…

…a Self Lover 🙂

This special and unique gesture speaks volumes about the love and appreciation Meghan has for herself.

“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” ~ Rupi Kaur

The third thing which struck me is Meghan’s firm belief that she would one day have a daughter to pass the Cartier watch on to, and her acting as if this heartfelt desire was already pre-ordained for her.

Meghan didn’t say “if I have a daughter in the future”…

…she specifically said “I plan to give it to my daughter one day” as if she just knew she would one day have a daughter to gift the watch to.

And as we now know, it was indeed pre-ordained 🙂

Meghan, The Duchess of Sussex and her daughter Lilibet Diana. Instagram/@misanharriman

“Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” ~ Louise L. Hay

I interrupt this important topic for a Selfcaretaker.com

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“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” ~ Oscar Wilde

*Your Bijoux Box is another great company which offer a fabulous Jewelry Subscription Box sent to you monthly.

Your Bijoux Box

“Love is about becoming the right person. Don’t look for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, become the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.” ~ Neil Strauss

And then there is this interesting fact:

“It is true that all the jewelry that I wear on Suits is my own. We really wanted (her character on the show) Rachel’s pieces to feel like they had some history and were rooted in something.” ~ Then actress Meghan Markle in 2014

Meghan Markle was on the hit TV show Suits for 7 seasons…

…so she must have had a very extensive jewelry collection to use while on the long running show, most of it gifted to herself, no doubt. 🙂

Quite obviously Meghan Markle’s penchant for loving herself enough to gift herself on a regular basis brought additional benefits that I doubt she ever anticipated.

Hence what can happen when you regularly show yourself love 🙂

*To gift yourself beautiful jewelry regularly to upgrade your style game or to gift someone you love…

…I have also gathered together what I believe are some of the BEST Jewelry companies around which offer a wide range of beautiful jewelry items in many styles, tastes and price points for you to check out at the following link.

Selfcaretaker.com Jewelry: A Hand-Picked Collection of Jewelry Companies For Every Taste, Style & Price Point

“I remind myself to be kind to myself, and as slightly ridiculous as it may sound, to treat myself in the same gentle way I’d want to treat a daughter of mine. It really helps.” ~ Emma Stone

Continuing on with the extreme importance of Loving Yourself… 

….please don’t confuse authentic Self Love with the traits of selfishness, narcissism, conceit, or ego; because all of those traits are simply elaborate masks to cover up gross insecurity.

What I am referencing is having an authentic healthy love, reverence, and self-respect for YOURSELF.

Here are some serious questions you should ask yourself:

Do you truly believe you are WORTHY?

Do you truly VALUE yourself?

Do you really and truly LOVE yourself?

Do you really believe you DESERVE the BEST that life has to offer?

If you’re not there yet, that’s totally okay.

“There’s some weird false idea that when you’re working towards being confident or happy or loving yourself, you won’t have bad days. 

You will, and they will be horrible.

You will feel like shit and nothing will go right.

Those days don’t take away from your progress or set the tone for your entire journey.

Experience those days, it’s okay.

Your journey is still valid.

The journey of life may not always be easy, but it is always worth it” ~ Wakeup People via Twitter

Most people who have made it to that authentic and loving space within spent years of trial and error and sometimes painful self healing and self care to get to really and truly loving themselves.

The problem is most people have no idea that they can indeed get to that authentic inner space with daily self healing and daily self care.

“It’s okay to take time for yourself. We give so much of ourselves to others, and we need to be fueled both physically and mentally. If we are in balance, it helps us in all our interactions.” ~ Faith Hill

This is why being a Selfcaretaker ultimately means doing daily self healing and self care on your physical, mental and emotional well-being…

…in addition to upping your outer game aka elevating the image you present to the outer world.

It’s to practice working on healing and caring for yourself on every level on a daily basis, until that practice becomes real.

“All relationships are a reflection of your relationship with yourself.” ~ Deepak Chopra

But a warning: The self healing work which should accompany the self care won’t be easy.

How many people grew up saying and believing the following: 

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names (words) will never hurt me.”

Just one of many ways we’ve been taught since childhood to gaslight our own feelings.

The truth of the matter is words can sometimes hurt us much more than any physical hurt done to us.

Words said to us in childhood can many times stay with us for an entire lifetime.

Instead of “sticks and stones” what Julia Robert’s character in the mega hit 90s movie “Pretty Woman” told Richard Gere’s character in explaining how she became a prostitute is by far much more accurate.

“People put you down enough, you start to believe it.”

“The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?”

That’s definitely much more accurate than the “sticks and stones” fairytale.

“Be careful what you say. You can say something hurtful in ten seconds, but ten years later, the wounds are still there.” ~ Joel Osteen

We as humans typically do not know that we are holding on to some really toxic and debilitating words that have been said to us, opinions that were expressed about us, thought processes, feelings, traumas, and painful emotions from both our past and our present.

“Words have a magical power. They can either bring the greatest happiness or the deepest despair.” ~ Sigmund Freud

These toxic and debilitating unprocessed feelings subconsciously impact us on a daily basis, whether we realize it or not.

They may unconsciously run or guide our lives, mostly to our detriment.

“Living in a mechanized, high-pressure world, we become divorced from our feelings, at the cost of much emotional pain and self-defeating behavior.”  ~ Donna Cunningham, late author and healer

The truth of the matter is the toxic, unprocessed and mostly unconscious feelings, emotions, traumas, etc. that most of us carry throughout our lives need to be acknowledged, addressed, and worked on if we are to ever feel happy, safe, at peace, and truly live the lives we desire.

If we are ever to truly HEAL.

“As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know this is ‘authenticity.’” ~ Charlie Chaplin

Again the self healing work part most definitely won’t be easy which is why the self care part is so important.

“Integrity is never painless.” ~ M. Scott Peck

But what does the word integrity really mean?

“The words integration and integrity are related. When we are fully integrated – when we’ve come to terms with the different parts of Self and no longer judge or fear them – we are a person of integrity. We act from this Whole Self. What we believe and do is one in the same.” ~ Joyce Mason

This great quote from Gandhi comes to my mind:

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ~ Gandhi

But being in harmony or in integrity with yourself can only happen if you honestly deal with and work on your hidden, suppressed and likely debilitating feelings, traumas, and emotions, no matter how difficult or painful that may be vs avoiding, stuffing or suppressing them.

Forgiveness, healing, or change most definitely won’t happen overnight…

…but it WILL eventually happen if you begin to do the necessary daily self healing work to heal and change and be consistent about it along with your daily self care. 

“When you are finished changing, you’re finished.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

Also remember when you make that self healing work and self care a daily habit, you are changing yourself little by little every day.

“Some days are going to be more of a struggle than others. That is okay and you need to forgive yourself in order to keep going — and growing.” ~ Sara Ahmed

You are growing, improving, evolving and changing for the BETTER every day 🙂

“These are the things that made me rebel and made me drink and made me do drugs. I just wanted to forget that episode from 5, then I wanted to forget what happened at 9, then I wanted to forget what happened at 16 and then I wanted to forget everything.” ~ Mary J. Blige

This is how many people who have experienced any kind of abuse and/or trauma respond to it.

By using alcohol, drugs or some other addictive behavior to self soothe and cope with it or to *briefly* just try to forget it.

Although this is extremely understandable, that unfortunately never works and typically ends up making things much, much worse in the end.

“Substance abuse or any addiction is common for trying to cope, numb, mask, dull and suppress pain and further bury the wounds. Pain is an acknowledgment. Pain is an instinctive warning sign that something is wrong and needs attention.” ~ Carl Jung

In 2020 before the start of the pandemic, Yahoo News asked the following troubling question:

Yahoo News – January 2020 – Why Are So Many Women Dying From Drinking?

“This past week, a new study from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism was published that revealed something alarming: There’s been a staggering increase in the number of women dying from alcohol-related causes.

By analyzing U.S. death certificate data, the NIAAA researchers found that among women, the rate of deaths that involved alcohol rose 85% between 1999 and 2017. To compare, men have experienced a 35% increase in that time frame (though the total number of men affected is still higher).” ~ Yahoo News – January 2020

Here is my response to that question from Yahoo News in regard to those extremely alarming statistics:

Yahoo News: “Why are so many women dying from drinking?”

Answer: Because many of those women were likely numbing themselves with alcohol to avoid dealing with their inner pain, turmoil, and the emotional issues and FEELINGS those issues likely produced within them….

….and unintentionally killed themselves in the process.

Following are 4 powerful linked scenes from the popular former TV show Scandal which gives a very realistic example of how so many people mask their feelings, issues, and traumas with a substance like alcohol or drugs to try to escape their pain…

…and their addictive behavior having a devastatingly painful impact on themselves, on the people they love, and on the people around them.

*NoteScene #1 is age-restricted so many will have to sign into YouTube to prove you are 18 years or older.

Make sure you do because scene #1 is pivotal to understanding the other three scenes.

Linked Scandal Scene #1

Betrayal: Betrayal is when someone you trust breaks that trust by doing something that hurts you. ~ Dictionary.com

Linked Scandal Scene #2

Ruined: (Feeling you) have been irreparably damaged or harmed. ~ Google Dictionary

Linked Scandal Scene #3

Mean: being deliberately unkind, uncaring, or spiteful. ~ Google Dictionary

What should President Fitzgerald Grant really be dealing with?

His FEELINGS as he finally begins to do in the fourth and final linked scene.

Linked Scandal Scene #4

Indeed. 

In fact, the relationship between Scandal characters Fitz & Olivia (who are portrayed by the excellent actors Tony Goldwyn and Kerry Washington) is so smoldering HOT that there is a whole genre featuring countless thousands of fan-made videos exclusively devoted to their passionate love affair and off the charts chemistry on YouTube.

Case in point:

Any time a fan can pull random scenes from a series or movie based on your relationship and set them to Beyonce’s extremely passionate song “Drunk In Love” via this ultra steamy linked video…

…and also to Usher’s very provocative song “Good Kisser” via this really steamy linked video…

…and finally to Maxwell’s beyond sexy song “Til The Cops Come Knockin” via this third steaming HOT linked video…

….and the scenes chosen for each of those fan made videos look like they are tailor made for each of those very sexy songs…

….then your sexual chemistry is off the charts as a television, movie, or any other kind of acting couple.

“On the more intimate aspects of (Scandal’s) love affair storyline, (Tony) Goldwyn is of two minds. “In terms of the intimate stuff, you know sex scenes are just really tricky to do. It’s bizarre and embarrassing, but I’ve done them a lot, and you just need to have a sense of humor about it and take care of each other and make the other person feel safe and not vulnerable,” Goldwyn said, adding a laugh. “Kerry (Washington) is one of the more beautiful women on the planet, so that made it a little easier.” ~ Gold Derby – June 2012

Case in point:

As you can see, the chemistry between the two Scandal characters is beyond intense…

…and this is true even when they aren’t even in the same room:

One reason the characters Fitz & Olivia (excellently played by actors Tony Goldwyn and Kerry Washington) have so much passion and sexual chemistry is because their characters are written in a way which allows them to be full, complete, flawed, passionate and emotionally demonstrative (aka openly feeling) human beings, something extremely rare in most television shows and even in many movies.

The far from perfect and exceedingly messy Scandal characters Fitz & Olivia both wear their hearts, their rages, their passions, and the full spectrum of their emotions and feelings on their sleeves with no pause, hesitation, or embarrassment. 

oliviafitzphone

Exhibit A:

Following are links to more random scenes which are literally exploding with emotions and feelings from Fitz & Olivia’s relationship on Scandal in no particular order:

Scandal Feelings & Emotions Linked Scene #1

Scandal Feelings & Emotions Linked Scene #2

Scandal Feelings & Emotions Linked Scene #3

Scandal Feelings & Emotions Linked Scene #4

Scandal Feelings & Emotions Linked Scene #5

Scandal Feelings & Emotions Linked Scene #6

Scandal Feelings & Emotions Linked Scene #7

Scandal Feelings & Emotions Linked Scene #8

Whether it’s jealousy, wild passion, anger, sadness, rage, contempt, or vulnerable love and tenderness as the next scene shows…

…their openly acted feelings are beyond authentic, believable, and almost tangible, meaning many viewers can actually feel it.

Displaying deep feelings without words is acting at it’s finest.

“Once you develop a comfort level with someone, that translates on camera.” ~ Then actress Meghan Markle on the chemistry between her Suits character Rachel Zane and Mike Ross

Tony Goldwyn and Kerry Washington excellently portrayed the characters Olivia & Fitz on the former hit TV show Scandal...

…and they are actors with not only an amazing comfort level between them, but also a lot of respect for each other.

Needless to say, Scandal’s Olivia Pope was most definitely street style goals 🙂

And Scandal’s President Fitzgerald Grant wasn’t too shabby in the style department either.

“You know, in seven years, there was never a day where I wasn’t excited to go to work.” ~ Tony Goldwyn to Newsweek regarding his leading role on Scandal

Following is a link to a brief yet bittersweet excerpt from the final table read between Tony & Kerry and the cast of Scandal which highlights just how good these actors are.

Scandal’s Final Table Read

The series Scandal was created by my fellow native Chicagoan…

…the revolutionary Shonda Rhimes.

Image of Shonda Rhimes from the cover of The Hollywood Reporter

“This is TV’s Savior.” ~ The Hollywood Reporter about the amazing Shonda Rhimes.

How appropriate.

“She is the first Black woman to create and produce one of the top series in the world (Grey’s Anatomy), and the first woman responsible for three shows with more than 100 episodes each, (Grey’s Anatomy, The Practice and Scandal). She is Shonda Rhimes.” ~ Shondaland TV via Twitter

*It’s important to emphasize that Shonda Rhimes is the first woman to create and produce three shows with more than 100 episodes, making her not just a pioneer for Black women, but a pioneer for women of every race and nationality. 

And that is just one of multiple firsts for Shonda Rhimes 🙂

In fact, in addition to being named one of TIME Magazine’s 100 most influential people in 2021, Chicago’s own pioneering Shonda Rhimes was named Adweek’s 2021 Media Visionary.

Adweek – December 2021 – How Adweek Media Visionary Shonda Rhimes Rewrote the Rules of TV

“After declaring she would change the world through television, the creator has done just that, on both linear and streaming.” ~ Adweek – December 2021

In addition to her many creative talents, in my opinion television creator, producer, writer, and all around badass Shonda Rhimes is at the forefront of revolutionizing not only how women are seen in this emerging new era via her highly unique, smart, powerful and yet ultra feminine female characters…

….but also inspiring the “equally yoked” woman the 21st Century Woman is finally aspiring to become.

Image: Shonda Rhimes surrounded by her all female leading characters for her shows Grey’s Anatomy, How to Get Away With Murder, and Scandal. Copyright: Rightful owner

“Shonda Rhimes has written characters that personify the modern American woman as a dominant, powerful figure who is as feminine and sexy and playful as women ever have been.” ~ Scandal’s Tony Goldwyn

Also Shonda Rhimes creates leading female characters who are free to be in every way the EQUAL of the leading male character vs being the traditional side kick or the classic partner/supporting player.

Rhimes also creates leading male characters who are far from being intimidated by these powerful women.

Case in point:

I remember when the following music video first came out. 

It really hit home when I first saw it because at that time I also didn’t feel I could speak.

I felt I had to keep my hopes, dreams and aspirations for my future under wraps because I feared they would be ridiculed as ridiculous or far fetched.

Til Tuesday featuring Aimee Mann – Voices Carry – (1985)

The following quote which I posted earlier deserves an encore:

“We hide our stories because we don’t think we’re good enough.” ~ Michelle Obama, (Becoming)

Many women (and also men) hide their stories via hiding their voice because they either don’t feel worthy enough to express it or because they fear they will be punished for using their voice.

Not just our romantic partners can make us feel small, unworthy, and like our voices don’t matter. Our families and loved ones can make us feel that way too sometimes, even if it’s totally unintentional.

And this is true for both women and men, but it is particularly true for young women.

“You’ll often hear people say: ‘You are helping people find their voice’. I fundamentally disagree with that because women don’t need to find a voice – they have a voice. They need to feel empowered to use it and people need to be encouraged to listen.” ~ Meghan Markle at a public Q&A at The Royal Foundation Forum Event shortly before she married Prince Harry in 2018

The Duchess of Sussex, Copyright: rightful owner of this image

In this year 2023 and beyond…

…women have to feel empowered to use their voices and to speak their truth by their partners, their families, their friends, etc.

When women are supported and genuinely listened to, their vision of themselves and what they are capable of will know no bounds.

“There’s a power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice. And there’s a grace in being willing to know and hear others. This, for me, is how we become.” ~ Michelle Obama in her best-selling book “Becoming”

Following is a great example of a boundless woman using her voice and a powerful man not being intimidated in the least by her doing so.

“I’ve only been interested in powerful women.” ~ Tony Goldwyn

Like Barack Obama, Prince Harry, George Clooney, the late, great David Bowie, etc…

….actor Tony Goldwyn is definitely a rarity among powerful men.

*Tony Goldwyn & Kerry Washington also reportedly received equal pay on Scandal

…yet another rarity between male and female lead actors and actresses in Hollywood.

In the video above where she is interviewed, Kerry Washington mentioned about Tony Goldwyn being “privileged.”

That’s an understatement.

There is likely very few people in Hollywood more privileged than actor Tony Goldwyn. 

He had not one but TWO grandfathers who were icons in the film industry.

Tony Goldwyn’s maternal grandfather was Sidney Howard who was a Pulitzer-Prize winning playwright and screenwriter who won an Oscar for writing the screenplay for the iconic film “Gone With The Wind.”

And his paternal grandfather is one of the men who is responsible for actually founding the movie/film industry.

Tony Goldwyn’s paternal grandfather was Samuel Goldwyn, who reportedly not only produced the first feature film that was ever made in Hollywood in 1914….

…but he went on to become one of the founders of the iconic movie production company and studio Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer otherwise known as MGM which to this day the world can see via the roaring lion still featured at the beginning of countless films over many decades.

I guess you can say that Tony Goldwyn’s family lineage put the “G” in MGM.

How appropriate…

…considering that actor Tony Goldwyn is really good at walking like a G 🙂

G – shortened form of “Gangsta” ~ Urban Dictionary

Not only is Tony Goldwyn a prolific stage and screen actor, he is also an accomplished film and TV director, film producer, and an all around humanitarian.

Here is a linked video which features Tony Goldwyn being interviewed about the important disaster relief organization AmeriCares, one of the multiple humanitarian causes he regularly uses his considerable platform to advocate on behalf of.

*Please support AmeriCares here.

Also here is a linked video featuring Tony Goldwyn along with his fellow Scandal star Kerry Washington advocating on behalf of The Innocence Project, an extremely important organization dedicated to freeing wrongfully convicted people from prison and criminal justice reform, a cause which Goldwyn has been involved with for many years.

Tony Goldwyn is such an avid proponent of The Innocence Project that he produced and directed the must see movie Conviction in 2010, which is based on a riveting true story about Kenny Waters, a wrongfully convicted man freed by The Innocence Project and Betty Anne Waters, the wrongfully convicted man’s sister who spent 18+ years trying to free her brother from prison, even going to law school to become his attorney even though she was poor and a high school dropout.

The film starred Academy Award winner Hillary Swank and the always brilliant Sam Rockwell and it is beyond inspiring. 

The film centers around Betty Anne Waters’s truly extraordinary story, a woman who Tony Goldwyn as a producer and the director of the film very obviously wanted to give a voice while highlighting the very real and serious problem of wrongful convictions is this country.

Here is a link to the must see film “Conviction’s” trailer. 

*Please support The Innocence Project here.

Back to Scandal….

…although the hit series has ended and is no longer on ABC, you can watch the first few seasons which prominently feature Fitz & Olivia’s very passionate, authentic, and revolutionary love affair/relationship on HULU. 

Image of Scandal’s Fitz & Olivia, Copyright: Rightful owner

“For me, self-love is like, ‘Am I sleeping enough? Eating well?’ Not: ‘Am I eating well to be able to fit into my skinny jeans?’ But: ‘Am I eating well to be healthy and strong?” ~ Kerry Washington

*Note: Because I fully recognize that learning to have authentic Self Love doesn’t just happen overnight and many people need expert guidance in figuring out how to achieve it….

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“I don’t think that loving yourself is a choice. I think that it’s a decision that has to be made for survival.” ~ Lizzo

In “The Self Love Master Class” follow along with therapist, Bethany Macgillivray, as she goes through daily lessons combined with introspective journaling prompts.

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“If you don’t love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won’t be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

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Those who have a history of toxic relationships or have difficulties setting boundaries

Those who have a history of self-neglect or self-sabotage and want to learn how to break these patterns and develop healthier habits.

People who have a tendency to put the needs of others before their own

Those who have a tendency to focus on their flaws and shortcomings, rather than acknowledging and appreciating their positive qualities.

People who want to discover their true worth and potential by overcoming limiting beliefs and self-doubt.

“If you’re not someone who has a natural and effortless love for yourself, it’s hard to let go of your desire to please other people, and that’s really not an ingredient for a happy life.” ~ Anne Hathaway

*This truly extraordinary Free Course/Class is being generously gifted to you by Switch Research.

The people behind Switch Research are passionate about creating accessible, effective mental health tools you’ll be inspired to use, every day.

With the aim of bettering peoples’ lives worldwide, the work of psychologists, clinical therapists, researchers, and psychiatrists is rooted in each of Switch Research’s products, for evidence-based tools you can trust.

Mental Health is a journey that deserves expert guidance along the way.

Switch Research provides you with those expert tools and resources to ensure your journey is a positive experience you’ll want to continue for the rest of your life.

“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” ~ Dolly Parton

Click here to access the incredibly effective 100% Free course titled “The Self Love Master Class” (which is a $57.00 US value).

“Living a life that matters to you means taking care of your well-being.” ~ Switch Research

In addition to their truly transformative and 100% Free Self Love Master Class course…

Here are some additional resources that Switch Research offers which will contribute greatly towards your self healing journey:

“Though no one can backtrack and create a brand new start, everyone is capable of taking their life in a brand new direction.” ~ Germany Kent

*The Boundaries Journal – This journal is packed with all the expert tools and strategies you need to help you set and maintain healthy boundaries with the people around you.

With guided prompts for each day of the month, you’ll explore four essential sections that will help you become truly confident in who you are, end any guilty feelings, and improve your relationships.

You’ll learn how to speak up for yourself, communicate your wants and needs effectively, and stick to your boundaries.

Click here to learn more about the Boundaries Journal

“Happiness is not something you will miraculously find one day in the distant future.

Happiness is something that you develop over time, with your actions, thoughts, feelings, connections, and experiences everyday.” ~ David Paul Vosburg

*The Emotions Journal – Enrich your relationships, control your emotions and boost your self-awareness within 21 days – or your money back.

Backed by science and created with expert therapists, the new Emotions Journal includes 9 weeks of guided prompts and psychoeducation to help you regulate your emotions.

With improved regulation of emotions and greater insight into your inner self, you can meet the challenges of everyday life with increased awareness, resilience, and authenticity.

Click here to learn more about the Emotions Journal

“Happiness is a state of mind. It’s just according to the way you look at things.” ~ Walt Disney

*The Self Talk Journal – If you’re looking to take your self-love journey to a higher level, the Self-Talk Journal Series is perfect for you.

In just 13 weeks, you can learn how to harness your inner voice and gain control over the critical voice in your head.

This 3-part series is a science-backed guide that will help you identify, challenge, and replace your inner critic.

Click here to learn more about the Self-Talk Journal

“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.” ~ Michael Caine

*The Calm Planner – With the Calm Planner, you can develop a greater understanding of your emotional responses and learn practical strategies to help you manage stress and anxiety more effectively throughout the day.

With its innovative Window of Tolerance approach the Calm Planner can help you protect your time and energy, so you can cultivate a greater sense of balance and ease in your daily life.

Click here to learn more about the Calm Planner

“One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others.” ~ Bell Hooks

*The Self Love Journal – (More than 100,000 sold) The Self-Love Journal integrates CBT-focused techniques and activities, like thought records and reframing, to help individuals challenge negative self-talk and develop more self-compassionate beliefs.

Click here to learn more about the Self Love Journal

“And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?” ~ Rumi

Free Gift #2: “A Delicate Conscience” Guided Meditation Download

The wonderful guided meditation titled “A Delicate Conscience” will help you to tune into the subtleties of your inner mind, will connect you with your Spirit and will help you create a solid foundation in trust, introspection, truth and Right Action.

Enjoy this guided meditation download to help tune you into your Higher Self, heighten your intuition, listen to and communicate with your body and get the messages that your emotions are bringing to you.

“You are worth the quiet moment. You are worth the deeper breaths and you are worth the time it takes to slow down, be still, and rest.” ~ Morgan Harper Nichols

You can listen to this guided meditation as often as you like and I would suggest listening to it at least once a day.

The more you listen, the better your results will be.

Just unplug, relax and LISTEN 🙂

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” ~ Anne Lamott

*If you are also joining the 100% Free Self Love Master Class, this awesome Free guided meditation download is a perfect compliment to it 🙂

Click here to access the incredible 100% Free guided meditation download “A Delicate Conscience” which is being generously gifted to you by Guided Meditation and Hypnosis Audios.

“Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort.” ~ Deborah Day

Guided Meditation and Hypnosis Audios has a very wide range and diverse collection of affordably priced guided meditation and hypnosis programs geared specifically to help you to connect more to your authentic self, to love yourself more, and to thrive in your life, no matter your circumstances.

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a commission for purchases made through the following links:

In addition to utilizing the 100% Free guided meditation “A Delicate Conscience” following are links to just some of the many hypnosis and guided meditation Guided Meditation and Hypnosis Audios offers which I think would be helpful for you to utilize while on your self love discovery journey as you take “The Self Love Master Class.”

“It is so important to take time for yourself and find clarity. The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.” ~ Diane Von Furstenberg

(1) Being Okay With Your Process

(2) Putting Yourself First

(3) Listening to Myself Always

“This life is mine alone. So I have stopped asking people for directions to places they’ve never been.” ~ Glennon Doyle

(4) Taking Your Power Back

(5) Being Your Own Support System

(6) I Stop Beating Myself Up

“It is said that we can’t attain enlightenment, let alone feel contentment and joy, without seeing who we are and what we do, without seeing our patterns and our habits. This is called maitri — developing loving-kindness and an unconditional friendship with ourselves.” ~ Pema Chödrön

(7) Setting Boundaries

(8) Emotional Pick Me Up

(9) Washing the Weight of the World Away

(10) And BTW, You Are Enough

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” ~ C.S. Lewis

*Important: I am also reposting these 2 excellent Online Therapy resources because therapy is an excellent tool for helping to address the underlying Trauma and all of it’s debilitating issues which leads to difficulty in having self love.

Because therapy can be an extremely important tool in terms of achieving help, care, and healing…

….I would like to make the following 2 excellent recommendations for anyone who may need them.

“My brain and my heart are really important to me, I don’t know why I wouldn’t seek help to have those things be as healthy as my teeth. I go to the dentist. So why wouldn’t I go to a shrink?” ~ Kerry Washington

OR why wouldn’t you go to a Therapist? 🙂

 “Through therapy and a lot of thinking and writing my memoirs, I’ve been able to use my life as a lesson.” ~ Jane Fonda

For those of us who aren’t legendary actresses or members of royalty…

….thankfully with the advent of the internet, receiving good and effective therapy is now much more accessible and affordable for the masses. 🙂

“If you are not happy with something, you should change it. So I went to a lot of therapy, and finally, I am able to speak up for myself: You are going to hear me roar!” ~ Katy Perry

If you don’t have access to good therapy via your health insurance, if you don’t have health insurance, or if traditional therapy is out of your price range…

…the following two excellent and affordable therapy resources may help and benefit you or a loved one a great deal.

“Look, I didn’t want to go to therapy when I started going, I was like, ‘no, I’m good, I don’t need that, but to be honest, I’m happy I went. I’m happy I forced myself to go when I didn’t always want to go. Because I felt so much better when I left.” ~ Michael Phelps, an American former competitive swimmer. He is the most successful and most decorated Olympian of all time with a total of 28 medals.

(1) Frequently seen featured and recommended on CBS broadcast stations, Online Therapy.com is a therapy platform based purely on Science.

Their excellent online therapy program is based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (C.B.T.). 

“There are a variety of techniques to help people change the kind of thinking that leads them to become depressed. These techniques are called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.” ~ Irving Kirsch Ph.D., American psychologist and lecturer at Harvard Medical School

C.B.T. has been developed on the idea that our thoughts (head) are what cause our feelings (heart) and behaviors, not external stimuli like people, situations and events.

C.B.T. is one of the most commonly used methods for treating mental health issues and problems. Studies show that online therapy based on C.B.T. is just as effective as traditional face-to-face therapy.

Online Therapy.com offers you a complete Happiness Toolbox.

Get matched with a qualified therapist within minutes.

You can start working with a licensed and credentialed therapist online for as little as $40.00 (US) a week as an individual, and Couples Therapy is also available.

PLUS: Receive a 20% discount off your first week of therapy.

*This type of therapy isn’t suited for children, but teenagers can utilize Online Therapy.com if both parents first email their consent.

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a small commission for purchases made through the following link:

Learn all the exciting details about this truly outstanding and highly effective therapy program and receive your 20% off at the following link:

Online Therapy.com

“Thirties. Go to therapy. Clean up all of the sh-t. Clean up all of the toxins and the noise. Understand who you are. Educate yourself on the self.” ~ Jennifer Aniston, American actress

(2) Calmerry – Feel Calm With Online Therapy

*Featured in Vogue, Forbes Health and Insider magazines.

With Calmerry Online Therapy, you can work with licensed therapists through problems and painful emotions to help you start a new and more fulfilling life.

With Calmerry, you can get professional and effective Mental Health Support wherever you are and whenever you need it.

You can chat with your licensed therapist privately or have live video sessions while building a life with greater meaning.

Select the subscription plan that best suits your needs and budget.

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a small commission for purchases made through the following link:

Plans start at just $50.00 (US) per week, and you will also receive 30% off at the following link:

Calmerry Online Therapy website

“I believe that the therapist’s function should be to help people become free to be aware of and to experience their possibilities.” ~ Rollo May, the influential founder of Existential Psychotherapy in the United States and a co-founder of Humanistic Psychology with Abraham Maslow and Carl Rogers.

“I must undertake to love myself and to respect myself as though my very life depends upon self-love and self-respect.” ~ Dr. Maya Angelou

The extremely important topic of Self Love brings me back to my Two Stage Muse

Meghan Markle the actress…

…and Meghan the Duchess of Sussex.

Images of Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex. Copyright: All rightful owners

“Reflecting on where I came from helps me to appreciate and balance what I have now.” ~ Meghan Markle

My case:

Meghan Markle the actress, entrepreneur and humanitarian being who she was then…

…is why she is a Royal Princess, a Royal Duchess, and one of the most talked about, most copied, and most admired women in the world today.

Artist Rendering of Duchess Meghan, Artist Unknown

“As you get older, you get more comfortable in your skin & comfortable in saying no to things…it’s something that, I think, comes with age and really having a sense of your self-worth. And then you make choices based on that.” ~ Meghan Markle before she became the Duchess of Sussex

In Best Health Magazine in 2016, Meghan Markle spoke about her approach to Aging:

“As I’m getting older, my approach to aging is quite different. I make sure that I take care of my skin and body, especially with the work hours I have. And I don’t just take care of myself for aesthetic reasons but because how I feel is dictated by what I’m eating, how much rest I’m getting and how much water I’m drinking.” ~ Then actress Meghan Markle who will be turning 42 years young this year, (2023) being interviewed by Best Health Magazine in 2016

This part:

“I make sure that I take care of my skin and body, especially with the work hours I have.” ~ Meghan Markle (2016)

As some say, “Beauty comes from within.”

“The beautiful souls are they that are universal, open, and ready for all things.” ~ Montaigne

Of course this saying is most times correctly referring to the Heart and Soul of a woman…

….but when it comes to healthy and glowing skin…

….a complete skincare regimen is very necessary….

…and a *complete* skincare regimen pays close attention to how you treat and care for your skin…

…yet pays equal attention to how you care for your whole self, including what you put in your body and how you treat your body…

….since it’s all connected to achieving vibrant and healthy skin.

“Self-care is non-negotiable. That’s the thing that you have to do. And beauty is the thing that can be the benefit of self-care. Beauty is not the point. Beauty is just a cute side-effect from self-care.” ~ Jonathan Van Ness

It’s important to understand that beauty isn’t just about what you put ON your skin…

…but is equally about what you put IN your skin aka what you put in your body which works continuously to produce new skin cells for us every single day.

If you’re not equally as vigilant with what goes inside your body as you are with your daily skincare regimen…

…no matter how great and beneficial your skincare regimen is, as you grow older, your skin will tend to age much quicker.

For this reason…

REAL beauty is a multi-step process based on what you consume inside your body which helps to nourish and feed your skin’s cells along with how you treat your body via getting adequate sleep, rest and relaxation.

Another important part of the multi-step process necessary in ensuring good, aging resistant, and glowing skin is based on how well you take care of your skin on a daily basis via a high quality and effective skincare routine or skincare regimen.

“Our skin is a reflection of our inner atmosphere.” ~ Dr. Angela Lamb MD, Dermatology

Selfcaretaker.com Spotlight: VERACITY – Balanced Skin Starts Within

Veracity offers a highly unique and revolutionary skincare approach designed to treat the Root cause: Hormones

As your life changes, your skin inevitably changes, too.

Whatever you’re feeling right now—joy, stress, anticipation, exhaustion—you can probably see it in the mirror.

We’re used to thinking of these changes as cosmetic—problems to fix with spot treatments and serums.

But they’re a reflection of what’s going on inside, sending important signals about your health.

Veracity was created to help you figure out what your skin is trying to say.

Instead of relying on age, skin type, or race to determine your skincare routine, Veracity uses simple at-home testing to gather real data about the current state of your skin and health, and offers you products based on your own unique biofactors.

Veracity creates a personal selfcare experience based on testing key hormones and pH scientifically proven to impact your skin and health.

Why Hormones?

80% of women experience a hormone imbalance at some point in their lives.

Hormones drive all body systems, including skin health, fertility, mood and mental health, metabolism, sleep, stress, sexual health, and even heart health.

Symptoms you experience on the outside such as acne and wrinkles are directly related to inner issues such as bloating, fatigue, and painful periods – and they all stem from hormonal imbalance.

Testing allows you to connect the dots between inner and outer symptoms – to treat the hormonal root cause.

“So many women go through life without truly understanding our hormones and cycles which play such a crucial role in how we feel day to day.” ~ Gretchen Depalma, CNS

Precision Nutrition

Introducing the first ever supplements designed to treat the root cause: Hormones.

Purely formulated to build and balance hormone health, Veracity’s supplements deliver results from the inside out – from improved metabolism, digestion, or stress response, to healthier skin, nails, and hair.

Hormone Clean Skincare

Veracity’s skincare is hormone disruptor free, and formulated with scientifically clean ingredients that are safe for your skin and body. So it’s safe and effective no matter your hormone levels, even during pregnancy and breastfeeding.

Veracity’s revolutionary and groundbreaking protocol include a Skincare regimen, supplements, and an at-home hormone test to help you to achieve radiant skin and health from the inside out.

“Hormone Testing is Skincare’s next Big Thing.” – Harper’s Bazaar

*Veracity also has an all-female medical advisory team  🙂

*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a commission for purchases made through the following link:

Click here to learn more exciting details about Veracity’s truly groundbreaking skincare/selfcare protocol for achieving glowing skin and better health from the inside out.

***You can access a very broad and quite excellent selection of my hand-picked Skincare Companies, (most which offer all natural, toxin free, and/or cruelty free products) by clicking the following link:

Selfcaretaker.com Skincare: A Broad & Diverse Selection of Skincare Companies to Meet Every Skincare Need & Budget

“And I don’t just take care of myself for aesthetic reasons but because how I feel is dictated by what I’m eating, how much rest I’m getting and how much water I’m drinking.” ~ Meghan Markle (Best Health Magazine 2016)

Ultimately it all comes back to “how I feel.”

“What is your skin trying to tell you? Often the skin is a metaphor for deeper issues and a way for your body to send up a red flag to warn you that all is not well underneath.” ~ Dr. Judyth Reichenberg

Remember…

“As above, so below; as below, so above.” ~ The Kybalion

“What this hermetic principle means in the most basic of terms is who you are on the outside reflects or corresponds with who you are on the inside and vice versa.

Note: The vice versa is equally important.”

The following quote also deserves a re-post:

“Our skin is a reflection of our inner atmosphere.” ~ Dr. Angela Lamb MD, Dermatology

Many things that are going on with our outer or physical body is a reflection of what is going on inside of us on a mental and/or emotional level.

So it’s not about consuming adequate amounts of water, healthy foods, nutritional supplements, in addition to taking care of our skin, our bodies, our grooming, the image we present to the world, etc. just to look good

…but it’s also done to feel good and to have the energy that is required to live an inspired, purposeful, fun, productive and meaningful life.

“There will always be naysayers. But if you focus on yourself, your values and your moral compass, it’s easy to live with truth and authenticity, and that’s how I choose to move through the world.” ~ Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex (2020)

Back to Renaissance Woman Meghan

…she can even cook!

Meghan Markle was a well known foodie and she regularly posted recipes and pictures of delicious meals, both prepared by her and while eating out on the Instagram page of her former website “The Tig.”

*Images from then actress Meghan Markle’s former Instagram

“If you have an Ina Garten-level roasted chicken recipe, it’s a game-changer. I bring that to dinner parties and make a lot of friends,” ~ Then actress Meghan Markle

No doubt it was then actress Meghan Markle’s culinary skills and being an avid foodie which inspired her to launch the global best-selling Together Cookbook to help fund the community kitchen full-time that was started by some of the many victims of the Grenfell Tower Fire Tragedy which happened in London in 2017...

…and Meghan accomplished this tremendous feat just weeks after marrying Prince Harry and becoming The Duchess of Sussex.

 
The Together Cookbook is a great example of how something you’re passionate enough to become skilled at coupled with your creativity and ambition, can create something that will have a HUGE impact on the lives of many others 🙂
 
And who doesn’t love DELICIOUS FOOD?
 
Selfcaretaker.com Spotlight: Crate Chef – Experience Home Cooking At An Entirely New & Delicious Level
 
Crate Chef features a different chef, cookbook author, cooking show star, restaurateur, recipe developer or food blogger every other month. 
 
Each Crate Chef box contains between 5 – 7 items that represent a sampling of the featured chef’s favorite things. 
 
The items in the box will include pantry products that are shelf stable and can be used when it’s convenient for you along with kitchen tools or gadgets and sometimes even a cookbook. 
 
Each box includes a Crate Chef Product Card introducing the featured chef curator on one side and a full list of product descriptions and why those items were chosen on the reverse side. 
 
Also included are exclusive recipes to show you how to use the products in the box and tie everything together! 
 
Getting a Crate Chef box is like receiving a gourmet gift from a top-name culinary expert delivered right to your door. 
 
You’ll be able to try new products and learn a trick or two with each new box that will improve your everyday cooking! 
 
Every Crate Chef box will teach you something new and elevate your cooking to the next level, whether you’re a beginner or a seasoned cook.
 
The kicker? To become a Crate Chef subscriber starts at only $49.00 (US) every other month.
 
*FTC Disclosure: This website will receive a small commission for purchases made through the following link:
 
 
“I’m an actress, a writer, the Editor-in-Chief of my lifestyle brand The Tig, a pretty good cook and a firm believer in handwritten notes. ~ Then actress Meghan Markle in 2015
 
Later in 2015, Meghan Markle added United Nation Women’s Advocate for Political Participation & Leadership and a World Vision Global Ambassador to her growing list of what she was doing with her life…
 

….while she also co-designed two fashion capsule collections for the Canadian retailer Reitman’s which both promptly sold out.

Add to her already super long life list Meghan traveling extensively, both for pleasure and while doing her humanitarian work for the UN and World Vision

…Meghan regularly practicing her beloved Yoga at her local yoga studio…

….Meghan hosting a fundraiser in Toronto for clean water in Rwanda, and also regularly volunteering to help serve and feed people at a local homeless shelter in Toronto

…all while Meghan hung out with her two dogs and her many friends but most importantly while she had lots of FUN

….all which she meticulously documented on her lucrative lifestyle website, “The Tig.”

“You draw your own box. You introduce yourself as who you are. You create the identity you want for yourself.” ~ Meghan Markle in an article she wrote for ELLE Magazine in 2015 titled “I’m More Than An Other”

Of course, this long list which encompassed the unique identity and inspiring life which Meghan chose to create for herself all happened before she met and married Prince Harry.

Images of the Duke & Duchess of Sussex from TIME Magazine’s TIME 100 2021 issue featuring the world’s most influential people.

And just like she did when she was Meghan Markle and long before she became a global icon…

…Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex is still doing what many famous people and celebrities with wide reaching global platforms inexplicably fail to do.

Duchess Meghan is using her now global platform to help those in need and to bring much needed attention to some of the most pressing issues of our times.

The following deserves a re-post:

“Lara Dewar from World Vision in Canada went to India with Meghan and told Sky News: “What made her very unique was how educated she already was on the issues, she wasn’t joining or jumping on a bandwagon, she wasn’t doing it because it somehow benefited her profile, in fact she made it very clear that she knew she had a little bit of influence and wanted to use her platform to better the lives of others.” ~ Yahoo News UK December 2017

“…she knew she had a little bit of influence and wanted to use her platform to better the lives of others.”

If only more famous people with powerful and wide-reaching platforms and fan bases felt the same way.

Image of Meghan Markle. Copyright: Rightful owner

“Make sure you are safe, and never ever put yourself in a compromising situation, but once that is checked off the list, I think it’s really important for us to remember that someone needs us, and that your act of giving/helping/doing can truly become an act of grace once you get out of your head.” ~ Meghan Markle before she became the Duchess of Sussex

*Every U.S. community where children live needs and deserves a play space for kids to play and have fun in, especially in the present chaotic times.

Click here to help end play space inequity by donating to KABOOM.

I hope you can now see why I believe Meghan Markle before and after she became the Duchess of Sussex…

….is an excellent muse and a perfect example of what you can accomplish, how big you can live your life, the high quality mate you can attract, how happy you can be, how high you can achieve, climb, etc…

…when you RELENTLESSLY CARE FOR & LOVE YOURSELF.

Image of the Duchess of Sussex. Copyright: Rightful owner

If you’re not there yet…

…from my well-researched perspective…

….that will happen once you become a Selfcaretaker 🙂

Another re-post:

“You have to take care of yourself so you can manage the workload of a very, very full plate.” ~ Meghan Markle

Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex in May 2023

Image of Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex. Copyright: Getty Images

Here’s the thing:

The more you take care of yourself, the more you will love, value, and respect yourself.

The more you love, value and respect yourself, the more you will teach others how to love, value and respect YOU.

“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” ~ Rupi Kaur

It was a major A-HA moment for me when I finally figured out that the remedy for low self-esteem, not feeling valued, not loving yourself etc. is to relentlessly take care of yourself via becoming a Selfcaretaker.

Once you begin to make self care a #1 priority in your daily life and begin seriously working towards learning to love yourself…

…you will inevitably discover that you have healthier boundaries which will more and more enable you to not allow the toxic people in your life to cross, even when those toxic people are sadly your own relatives.

“A lack of healing often leads to a lack of boundaries.

A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.

Trauma makes you tolerate a lot of disrespect because you don’t want to lose people.

Heal because some people don’t deserve to be in your life, no matter how much you love them.” ~ Inner Practitioner via Twitter

That is so true, and it’s important to realize that this is most definitely also true of toxic and unloving family members.

This is sadly a truth that even the Duchess of Sussex has had to come to terms with in her own personal life….

…..and although it is extremely difficult to let toxic, disrespectful, and unloving family members go…

…if caring for your mental and emotional well being and loving yourself is your #1 priority, it’s a choice that simply must be made if necessary.

“Whatever creates or increases happiness or some part of happiness, we ought to do; whatever destroys or hampers happiness, or gives rise to its opposite, we ought not to do.” ~ Aristotle

It is totally possible to love your toxic family members from afar while praying for their health, well-being, and healing.

You can also send gifts and/or cards to let your toxic relative/s know you are thinking about them on birthdays and holidays.

Doing this may help you to eventually find forgiveness in your own heart towards them, (if forgiveness is your goal), while you are on the road to self healing from whatever they put you through.

When you make self care and self love a priority, you will discover that you now have higher standards which you will begin to elevate yourself and your life towards meeting.

“Love yourself so much that when someone treats you wrong, you recognize it.” ~ Rena Rose

When you become a Selfcaretaker, you will discover new interests and a life purpose that you never knew you had because your self care and self love will totally re-align and upgrade what you now see as your life’s purpose and potential.

In short, relentless self care will enable you to discover and remember the REAL YOU.

“She remembered who she was and the game changed.” ~ Lalah Deliah

When we care for ourselves, we are also teaching ourselves that we are lovable and deserve to be loved and cared for. 

We are teaching ourselves that we are worthy and that we do indeed matter.

We are also teaching ourselves that our lives have a higher purpose.

“If you don’t know what you’re here to do, then just do some good.” ~ Dr. Maya Angelou

There has likely never been a time in the modern history of America where the need for daily self care has been so vital and necessary for every man, woman and child in this country.

“I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It’s all a question of how I view my life.” ~ Paulo Coelho

Whether you choose to utilize the literally hundreds of  tools, resources, businesses, stores, etc. provided within this website to help you to care for both your inner and outer selves in almost every way possible, including a few valuable and effective self care tools and resources which are 100% Free or not….

…here’s hoping that many of you will begin your own individual and unique Selfcaretaker journeys…

….and in doing so create your own unique identity which will hopefully lead to a happy and inspiring life grounded in the journey towards learning to LOVE YOURSELF 🙂

“Do not wait; the time will never be “just right.” Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” ~ Napoleon Hill

Following are two more awesome Free Gifts:

Selfcaretaker.com’s Free Tools: Dr. Patrick Porter’s AM & PM Audio Visualization Sessions

“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion, will one day become a reality.” ~ Earl Nightingale

Dr. Patrick Porter is offering two highly effective AM and PM audio visualization sessions to be used daily, morning and night, to help keep your conscious and subconscious minds focused on your goals and dreams NOT your problems, worries or fears.

Patrick K. Porter, Ph.D. is an author, consultant, successful entrepreneur, and experienced speaker. Through his decades of operational research in the dynamics of change, he has become an expert on using the power of the mind for personal improvement.

Use the following two highly effective audio visualizations linked below every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep to help you to forget your worries, doubts and fears and instead focus on your goals, hopes, and dreams:

AM Focus Daily Visualization: In this wonderful audio visualization, Dr. Porter guides you through positive affirmations for your day.

Combined with soothing music, this audio program is a great way to begin each day while also focusing on your goals and dreams.

Click here for AM Focus Daily Visualization: Listen daily to this 13-minute visualization & relaxation process for focusing in the morning from Dr. Patrick Porter.

PM Dreamtime Session: Combined with soothing music, this awesome audio program is a great way to relax at end of the day or as you drift off to sleep while focusing on your goals and dreams.

Click here for PM Dreamtime Session: Listen daily to this 22-minute visualization & relaxation process for winding down in the evening from Dr. Patrick Porter.

*Make sure you use stereo headphones or ear buds with these two powerful audio visualizations.

“Be a lamp or a lifeboat or a ladder- Help someone’s soul heal.” ~ Rumi

Finally the following three minute clip from the hit TV show “Scandal” features Olivia Pope speaking words at the two minute mark, (words written by the show’s creator and producer Shonda Rhimes), which basically sums up authentically LOVING YOURSELF in an empowered woman way in a nutshell.

*Before the referenced three minute clip titled “She’s Back”…

…the following scene gives a bit of context and understanding for it. 

Now onto the referenced three minute clip:

After disappearing…

….this is the first time she and President Fitzgerald Grant and Olivia Pope see one another upon her return.

*Please pay attention to words Olivia Pope says towards the end.

“Moments like this give every woman an opportunity to decide what kind of person she wants to be, deep down, no matter what face we present to the world, no matter what pain we’re hiding, what struggle we’ve been going through….WE KNOW OUR WORTH.

We know what we’re capable of, we know who we are, who we’ll always be and we have a CHOICE.

We can hide in the shadows….or we can stand in the LIGHT.” ~ Olivia Pope (Scandal)

May we all find our own unique identity and our own light to stand in as we relentlessly care for and love ourselves. 🙂

Here’s to taking much better care of ourselves while moving towards loving ourselves via becoming Selfcaretakers 🙂

Pam Jones, Creator, Innovator and CEO of Selfcaretaker.com